


Garden Path

by glockcourage



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 2000s, Angst, F/M, Fluff, gold digger?Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-03-16 13:39:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13637379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glockcourage/pseuds/glockcourage
Summary: Lead someone down the garden path(idiomatic) To mislead, deceive, hoodwink, or seduce.Source: Wiktionary





	1. Lost...

It’s high noon. The temperature is baking the earth but Rey, used to being out under the sun, doesn’t mind the heat but she does mind the fact that the gauge that indicates her petrol is blinking. It’s been blinking for the past few minutes and she knows her little car will stop dead soon.

The year is two thousand and one. The new century has just started and here she is, at her own new beginning, in the middle of nowhere, lost and running out of petrol. This doesn’t bode well. She needs a phone and a reliable map. But the mobile phone is expensive and the map she has is tattered, with some words unreadable. She should have listened to Finn more closely when he was naming the places.

Muttering under her breath and casting her eyes out looking for anyone, any life form that isn’t trees, shrubs or grass. _Nope,_ no other sign of life except for the greens and the little critters and the sound they make. It’s so tranquil out here but it’s in direct contradiction to what she’s feeling. _Damn it!_ She mutters again. She doesn’t generally swear but this unfortunate occasion merits a swear word or two. _Gah_ whether she can or can’t string a lengthy epithet is the least of her worries. Even if she shouts offensive curse words, nobody will care, for nobody is around but her.

When suddenly, she sees it...a glint of steel. It’s a part of a gate that’s losing paint. Saying a prayer of thanks under her breath, she coaxes her car just a little bit more and is able to park it on the side of the road before it sputters and dies on her. There’s not that much vehicles passing through here considering the last one she saw was over two hours ago. But still the other drivers are maybe driving fast thinking the roads are quite empty and they can run into her car while she’s out talking to the owner of the place. She can see that happening with the way her luck is running today. Thankfully, her car’s park safely that only a moron will hit it.

She calls out, _“_ _Hello,”_ before she climbs the gate. She has walked uphill on a rough track that seems wide enough to fit a car for the last ten minutes before she sees the cottage. It’s beautiful, a work of art really. It blends well with its surrounding woodland with its green walls and maple red roof. It isn’t big but it isn’t small either and it’s framed on the sides by trees. At the back, she can see the majestic mountains but on the front there’s a huge vacant lawn that looks like it can double as a parking area for several cars but at the moment it’s just empty.

“ _Hello._ _Anybody here?_ _”_ Rey calls out again and gets no answer. She bites her lower lip, wondering if nobody is home. She knocks on the door, no answer. She turns her head and leans down on the door, putting her right ear on the flat surface, trying to listen for any movement when suddenly the door is pulled from the inside.

She struggles not to lose her balance as she says hurriedly, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to appear I _uhm..._ ”

A bearded man stands just inside the door with distrust in his eyes.“ _Who are you?_ What are you doing here?”

“I’m Rey. I ran out of petrol. I _uhm_ wondering if you have petrol to spare,” she replies sheepishly. Being caught with her ear on the door must have made her appear like a burglar or something. _“Oh and I’m not a burglar, I swear.”_ She raises her right hand, palm out after making a sort of cross sign on her chest.

Luke’s eyes narrow down. The person in front of him looks too young, and too...cheerful to be anything other than what she says. “Then you must be stupid for coming here alone.”

Rey understands what the old man is trying to say and isn’t insulted for being called stupid. _Okay_ maybe just a little. She cringes. “Yes, I am that, I’m afraid. Although, I did intend to be at my destination by now. I think I took a wrong turn. Your house is the only one I’ve seen for miles. It is either I risk waiting for a car to come long who is willing to share petrol or to walk for miles to _God knows where_ when I saw your gate. I did fear meeting a pervert but you don—”

“ _I’m not a pervert!”_ Luke cuts the young child off, appalled and insulted.

“ _Oh I know that.”_ Rey smiles, trying to coax the older man to smile too. In her predicament, she should be afraid but she isn’t. The old man appears to be grumpy but she can see his eyes are not cruel. She has seen a lot of cruel eyes to know when she’s not seeing one.

“You’re too trusting,” Luke complains.

“ _Am not,”_ Rey argues.

Luke snorts. “Wait here.”

Rey watches as Luke goes out his door, locks it and goes towards the side of the house. She hasn’t noticed the garage before since even that is cleverly done in a way that the woods seem to hide it. Rey follows Luke to the garage.

“I told you to wait there.” Luke almost snaps, but doesn’t turn his head from what he’s doing. He gets a liter from his stock. It should be enough for her to reach the nearest gas station if she turns right rather than left or straight at the crossing.

Reaching for the proffered container, “Thanks,” says Rey. She then puts it down so she can get her scruffy wallet from her bag to pay.

Luke glares at the money, not reaching for it. “Keep it.”

“I don’t want to be indebted more than I should.”

The kid probably has limited funds. “If you go away now, I’ll considered it paid.”

Rey grins, tucking her paper bills back inside her wallet.

“And for God’s sake, turn right when you see the crossroad later.”

—oOo—

Rey, with the petrol and proper directions this time, is able to reach the town and find a gas station. She fills up her trusty car’s tank and her newly acquired container. The lull after worrying makes her curiosity run riot and her mounting concern leads her to ask about the hermit in the mountains.

The old man isn’t so forthcoming and he has not even given her his name.

Good thing the teen at the gas station is a lot more talkative. Andy, who introduces himself without any prompting from her, reveals that the old man’s name is Luke and that he’s an artist and likes to keep to himself.

Rey is an artist too— _n_ _ot_ well-known yet but she will be. “Is he any good?” she asks.

The 18 year old Andy grins then twists his head to glance at the owner of the gas station. He calls out, “Dad, do you mind if I show her Luke’s painting in your office?”

The owner raises a thumb’s up sign without lifting his head from the hood of a black car.

Rey is aware the boy is trying to impress her but at almost twenty, she feels a whole lot older than him. Normally, she would have refused the offer but she is curious and she doesn’t really look forward to driving for more hours without talking to anyone. She’s a sort of ambivert and right now, her extrovert personality is winning.

An 18 by 24 inches canvas, framed by a simple gold plated border, hangs horizontally at the back of the boss’s chair.

“It’s beautiful,” Rey gasps. It’s a picture of the gas station. It should be drab and boring but it isn’t. The picture is so full of life even when the subject isn’t.

The boy grins, proud of the painting. “Dad really shouldn’t display it in his office ‘cause it’s really valuable but—” The boy lowers his voice into a conspiratory whisper, “—but nobody here really knows how valuable that one is. My dad had it appraised.”

Rey nods her head, speechless. She knows the style even before she sees the small, really small signature at the lower right corner. _Luke is Luke Skywalker!_ An elusive famous painter.

And she just met him!

—oOo—

Rey doesn't have a formal training but she knows she’s good. She has brought two of her best paintings and intends to show them to Mr. Skywalker.

She has thought really hard about this. She previously planned to find Poe, her best friend Finn's friend hence the trip but this is so much better. Although, Poe will welcome her and Luke will probably not. Rey bites her lower lip, clutching the unweildy paintings tightly. She is already a day late in seeing Poe, a day or two more shouldn’t make a difference if Luke refuses her.

She has rented a room in town, where she has planned her attack. She grins, she has made it sounds like she’s going to battle. But she’s not looking for a fight. She’s looking for a teacher to teach her more about her craft, about art. Granted, she doesn’t have that kind of money to pay Luke if he asks for an astronomical fee but she can clean for him and do his errands in town. She hears he doesn’t like doing those.

The painting at the gasoline station was a sort of _thank you_ from Luke for recieving help with some sort of car trouble ten years ago rather than a business transaction. She has learned from Andy, that his dad paid just two dollars for it. Obviously, Mr. Skywalker maybe grumpy but he’s generous too.

With two canvasses hug to her person, she tramples a part of the mountainside up to Luke Skywalker’s cottage.

Knocking on the door, just like she did yesterday, she calls out cheerfully. “Mr. Skywalker, it’s me, Rey.”

“Go away, Rey.” Rey hears Luke’s voice coming from inside the house.

“Aren’t you curious, why I came back?”

“Whatever it is, the answer is no.”

“Can you atleast open the door?”

“No.”

“I can tell someone that I have found the great Luke Skywalker. They will be happy to know your location, you know.”

Luke opens the door. “You wouldn’t do that.”

Rey grins. “No, I won’t.”

“ _What do you want?”_

“I want you to be my teacher.”

Luke frowns. “I cannot teach you.”

“ _Why not?_ You are not that busy,” she says as she proffers the two paintings towards Luke. “Here.”

Luke doesn’t even glance at the paintings. “No,” he retorts and slams the door on her face.

—oOo—

Time for plan B. She will not leave. She will have Master Luke as her teacher. So every time Luke comes out of his door, Rey is waiting for him.

“This is trespassing, you know,” scowls Luke.

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry but I really want you to be my teacher,” Rey says solemnly, clutching one of her paintings, face out so Luke can still see it.

“Is that your work?”

“Yes, pretty isn’t it?” Rey holds the frame so Luke can see it properly.

“The light is— _no, I won’t teach you.”_

“The light is _?_ ”

“You’re so persistent.”

“Yes, my friends say, it’s one of my endearing qualities.”

“Your friends are wrong.”

Luke gets into his car and drives off, leaving Rey still holding her painting towards him and if he glances at his rear view mirror he can still see it.

Luke does peak at his rear view mirror at Rey’s painting. For a kid with no formal education, she’s good. Actually, she’s better than good.

—oOo—

For four days, it continues, every time Luke goes out of his home he sees Rey. On the morning of the fifth day though, Luke doesn’t see her.

Luke snorts. The kid isn’t that persistent after all.

He is outside on the lawn, a medium canvas with a supporting easel in front of him when he hears her coming.

“ _Why are you back?”_ Luke grumbles.

“I was trying to get a job in town and...”

“ _And what?”_

“I got the night shift at the diner.”

“You’re really stupid, aren’t you?” Luke hits Rey’s head with the paint brush handle. “This is just a small town but it’s not totally safe especially at night.”

“I can take care of myself.” Rey answers, touching her head. It does not hurt but it has taken her by surprise. “I can do this,” she adds, fisting her hands, she jabs the air with them and kicks with her right foot.

Luke shakes his head, returning his attention back to the canvas. He suddenly feels more enervated and his strokes on the canvas become less of a chore to pass the time.

“ _Can I watch you work?”_ Rey asks, hovering.

“No.”

“ _But_...okay.” Rey walks away from Luke’s canvas, looks for a spot on the grass to sit, sits down then takes her backpack from her back, fishes out her pad from it and starts to draw.

It’s after an hour or two when the shadow of Luke blocks the sunlight on her pad.

Luke is watching her work.

“I’m good, _aren’t I?_ ” Rey mumbles, her concentration on sketching the beauty of their surroundings, unmarred.

Luke simply grunts then with his hands on the small of his back, he starts strolling towards the house.

Rey scrambles to get up. Luke just leaves his canvas, easel, paints, brushes and the rest of his things and goes back to his house.

With a smile, Rey gathers his things. Luke Skywalker has finally deigned to teach her.

—oOo—

 

~2 1 18 AF P 2 11 18~

 


	2. and  Unfound

“ _What girl?”_ Kylo Ren asks Mitaka, the male nurse who called to tell him the news that his uncle has just collapsed and is rushed to the hospital.

“Rey. She’s been living with your uncle for three months already,” Mitaka answers, wondering why the person on the other line is asking him about things that everybody in town already knows. Surely even Luke’s family from somewhere far, far away should know too. “You’re Luke’s nephew aren’t you, Mr. Ben Solo? You are listed as the person to contact if something happens to him.”

“Yes,” Kylo Ren agrees, bitingly.

It will only take Kylo an hour to arrive in Ahchto town if he takes his helicopter rather than his car. He knows how to fly it, one of the perks of having a pilot father and an ultra rich mother. Although there was a time he didn’t see it that way...But that’s behind them now. He and his parents understand each other now. He can’t say the same for his uncle.

Speaking of his family—his parents are currently on another continent and the fastest they can be in Ahchto, which is the back of beyond, is atleast 24 hours. He can verify his uncle’s condition first before letting them know. Saves his mother the bother of panicking in behalf of her brother...although technically, he’s never seen her panic. He doubts he’ll ever see her panic.

But then Leia Skywalker-Solo has only one brother...and she is allowed to panic but not if he can’t help it.

Kylo asks his people to ready his chopper. He calls it _The Silencer_ but it’s anything but quiet when its rotor turns.

Exactly one hour and thirteen minutes after he claims the controls of the _Silencer_ , he arrives in the hospital helipad.

He hates that number—thirteen. It doesn’t really bode well when you’re visiting someone in the hospital. And he hates hospitals too. Shaking his head to rid it of stupid thoughts he doesn’t see the girl waiting for him at the hospital lobby.

Rey has seen Ben Solo’s two pictures in his uncle’s cottage. But she doesn’t know that he is so...big. The man has passed her before she is able to remember that he doesn’t know her.

She runs so she can catch up with Ben’s bigger and hurrying strides. She ends up hollering trying to get his attention, _“Wait!”_

But the man just continues as if he doesn’t hear her. The elevator parts open its doors in the middle and once he gets in, he punches to close the doors. Rey is forced to put her hand out to stop the doors from closing, only belatedly cringing when she realizes what she is doing, praying the doors won’t cut her hand. Of course, they won’t cut her hand. They have safety features built in. She just watches too many movies of hands being cut off.

Kylo Ren glares at the foolish girl who puts out her hand just to stop the elevator doors from closing. She should treat her hands with more care than that. Good thing he is able to stop the two steel doors before they can touch any part of her anatomy. He’s in a hurry...His uncle may be dying, worst, he’s already dead. _“Hurry!”_ he barks at the girl.

The girl goes in. They’re alone inside the elevator. Technically, the elevator is only used for patients being transported in bed and wheelchairs and not for able bodied people. Ben Solo obviously doesn’t know his uncle is just on the second floor and that going through the stairs is more environmental friendly.

_Ping._ Rey is about to open her mouth when the doors slide open, parting in the middle. It’s kinder to let Ben know what happened before he sees his uncle. Rey about to tear up again hurries after the man who is already marching towards the ICU.

“Luke looks worse than he is. He’s gonna be okay. I know that,” she says to the back of the man she’s trying to catch but he’s almost at the ICU and she can’t reach him on time.

Kylo Ren turns around. The trembling voice belongs to the girl whose own hand she wants to chop off. _“Who are you?”_ he asks although he has a suspicion. She must be Rey, the girl he has heard so much about. Kylo is a little taken aback. When they labeled her a girl, he actually thought it is because she is Luke’s girl...but she’s literally a girl. She must be too young to be Luke’s girlfriend.

“I’m Rey.”

Kylo, hoping that the girl in front of him isn’t Rey, curses under his breath. _His uncle cohabits with this girl?_ _Has his uncle lost his marbles in his advance age?_

Luke is already 53 years old, and the girl, with her eyes swollen and her nose red from crying looks nothing older than 20-21. _W_ _hat_ _is his uncle_ _doing with this girl?_

Kylo swivels around and faces the door to the ICU. His uncle Luke better be conscious so he can ask him _that!_

—oOo—

His uncle is only 53 years old. Kylo knows that because the old man and his mom share a birth date. Luke’s only 53 but he looks way older than that, what’s with his graying beard and hair and his pale, very pale complexion.

“Uncle Luke,” Kylo calls out in a low voice, trying to see if he can wake him up. The nurse has said his uncle is in a coma after a cardiac arrest. He can wake up anytime from now to several weeks. _Damn it!_ Kylo grumbles to himself. If his uncle isn’t so stubborn, he won’t be in this situation. This town is so... _so_ behind in technology. His uncle is so lucky to be still alive.

Kylo has Rey to thank for that. Obviously, the girl knows CPR. He and his family owe her one...However, he can’t forget that it can be her fault too in the first place.

His uncle must be getting some action from—Kylo blocks the disgusting image from his mind before it can even form.

Kylo talks to nurse Mitaka, scares him actually, to make sure that his uncle remains stable while he goes to search for the girl.

 —oOo—

 Kylo finally finds Rey alone in the tiny chapel on the third floor. It doesn’t help his temper to cool off when it takes him 16 minutes to do so. Sixteen minutes looking for someone is a reprehensible waste of his precious time. He’s used to people finding him when he asks for their presence.

Rey doesn’t even notice him. She’s kneeling, her elbows resting on the narrow plank of wood while her hands are tightly clasp and her forehead resting on them. He can see her eyes scrunched shut and her mouth moving but no sounds escape from her lips.

Kylo stares at those red lips. They appear to be swollen, like someone has bitten them. With his uncle sleeping in a coma, he can surmise that Rey has bitten them herself... _And_ furthermore, he doubts that his uncle is playful enough to do that. Whereas he— _No!_ Rey is too young even for him.

_Damn it!_ Where does that thought springs from. He’s not interested in a girl who doesn’t even seem to have developed a—a fuller chest. His eyes travel down her front to check. And his breath is strangled, her tiny breasts are squashed on the table she’s leaning into.

Rey hears someone breathing as if he just choke on something. She opens her eyes and finally notices Ben staring at her. “Hi,” she greets, trying on a tentative smile.

The swollen lips smile at him. They look more luscious now that they are curving up rather than down. “Are you my uncle’s girlfriend?” Kylo asks.

“ _Whaat?!_ _No!_ _I’m his student.”_

“My uncle has sworn on his life he’ll never mentor another student again.” After him, his uncle has sworn not to bother taking anymore students. Kylo knows that Luke will never break it not after what happened ten years ago. “So try another one.”

“What do you mean try another one?”

“Is my uncle your sugardaddy?”

“I said he’s my teacher!”

“So you need a...teacher.” Kylo pauses before the word, making his meaning sordid.

“ _You’re disgusting!”_ Rey scowls.

“I’m disgusting? I’m not the one trading my young, nubile body for material gain.”

“ _I’m not!”_ Rey cries out. Why doesn’t this Ben listen! If the uncle is bull headed, so much more is the nephew. It must run in the Skywalker family! Trying to sound calm, the way she deals with Luke, she repeats again, “I’m not. I’m really am just his student.”

Kylo moves a step closer to gaze in her eyes. She looks so genuinely distraught...he almost believes her. _Almost._ “You’re good,” he rasps under his breath.

“ _Ugh!_ If you don’t want to believe, fine!” Rey snaps. She doesn’t have to deal with him.

—oOo—

 Rey finds out hours later that she has to deal with him.

“What are you doing here?” Rey asks when she opens the door. It’s late. It’s almost midnight. She is already asleep in her room in Luke’s cottage when someone raps on the door. She should have known it’s him with a luggage.

“I can asks you the same thing,” Kylo Ren replies.

“I— _I live here_.”

“Your relationship with my uncle must be serious for him to tolerate another person’s presence in this house.”

“Will you stop it.” Rey sighs. She’s tired. She’s been awake since four in the morning then she has spent the day worrying about Luke. The last thing she needs is this man acting as her judge and jury. “You can continue tomorrow if you want. I’ll even promise to be a more challenging opponent tomorrow.”

Kylo notices Rey’s eyes, even in the dim light in the hallway they look bruised. She seems to be genuinely worried about his uncle...or most probably worried about her interests. He shrugs. “There are only two rooms here. Since you sleep in my uncle’s bed—”

“ _O_ _h_ _G_ _od_ , you don’t know when to stop, don’t you?”

“I’m just stating the facts.”

Rey shakes her head to negate Ben’s ‘facts’. “You sleep in your uncle’s room. I’ll sleep in my room.”

“You sleep in my room.”

On the way through the house to reach the bedrooms, a paintbrush is lying abandoned on a nearby table. Rey picks it up and suddenly throws it in Ben’s direction. It takes Ben in surprise and it hits him on the chest.

Rey suddenly bursts into tears. “ _You’re a_ _snake_ _!_ I’m not sleeping with you.”

“I’m not asking you to. I said the room you’re sleeping now used to be mine when I stayed here.”

“Oh.” Rey’s tears stop and she wipes her cheeks and nose on her pyjama top sleeves.

“Yes, _oh_.”

“Did you have vacation here?”

“No, I didn’t stay here for a mere vacation. I used to live here.”

“You and your uncle must be close—”

“No, we’re not,” Kylo cuts in, closing the subject.

“Since you used to live here, you know where the extra beddings are. You can prepare your own bed yourself. _Goodnight!’_ With her words delivered, she makes a fast exit, congratulating herself that hers are the last words spoken even if it’s just tonight.

 —oOo—

 

~2 1 18 AF P 2 11 18~

 

 


	3. A House is a Home

 

Rey is a morning person. She wakes up at 4 am, cooks breakfast, tidy the place up a bit, have a shower and by 5 am, she’s out the door.

Kylo Ren hears the engine and looks at his watch. It’s five in the morning. He usually wakes up at six, and six is early by his standard.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he wonders where she went. The hospital doesn’t allow visitors this early.

Once he’s awake Kylo can’t go back to sleep no matter how tired he is. Yesterday, he returned the Silencer to his base and traveled back by car after he tied some business so he could stay here indefinitely. Putting on a shirt, he may as well see what changes his uncle has done to the place.

He can smell bacon and eggs wafting from the kitchen. He’d only been able to grab a bite of sandwich last night, not really having an appetite.

Rey could have eaten already but he’s not sure since there are no used plates and utensils on the sink. The amount of food cooked is good for two so he leaves Rey’s portion. The bread is a little stale but it is easily remedied with the toaster.

Kylo closes his eyes, and tries to remember how this room looked like ten years ago. It has not changed much, but the toaster is new.

Kylo tours the rest of the house. Except for a few appliances and paintings, not much has changed. Luke still has their pictures hanging on his walls. He looks so much younger in the pictures, taken before the accident. He doesn’t look that gangly anymore. It must have been his ears that Rey recognized so she was able to identify him yesterday. Sometimes...he hates his ears.

Next, he visits the studio. It has changed the most. Luke and him used to share this room before. Now, there’s a new cabinet with a lock in his old side of the studio. The room has gotten smaller because of this addition and hence much more cluttered. There are more paintings of landscape and still life scattered on any available surfaces. They were all obviously done by his uncle. The style is unmistakable.

The room is filled with Luke’s work. Kylo wonders where his uncle had put his stuffs...His uncle probably burned them all when his uncle learned from his mother that he’d taken the name Kylo Ren and changed his art style to something as far away as that of Luke’s.

There are also no paintings done by Rey. If he doesn’t doubt before that she paints, he would now that he’s seen the studio. Her clothes he’s seen so doesn’t even have smudges on them, and she doesn’t smell of paint. In fact, she smells...like flowers and femininity.

Maybe Luke has felt lonely with the life he’s chosen barely speaking to his mom and dad _and him, never_ that’s why Rey’s here. Afterall, Luke has never married. But there was someone, his mother revealed once. His uncle was once engaged to a woman named Mara. Or was it Mari? He’s not sure but he’s sure his uncle had carried a torch for someone.

To love like that and to lose her...Kylo will never be stupid to do that.

—oOo—

The next time Kylo Ren sees Rey, it’s in the hospital at almost noon. He was expecting to see her earlier, way earlier than twelve.

“ _Where have you been?”_ Kylo demands an answer.

“ _Did something happen?”_ Rey asks. The hateful man wouldn’t appear to be waiting for her arrival unless Luke is looking for her. _“Did he_ _wake up?”_

“No.”

Rey sighs, deflated. The bouquet of wild flowers clutched but forgotten in her hands.

She looks so sad...like her light just diminishes, Kylo thinks suddenly.

Shaking the unbidden thought away, “You can’t bring those in,” Kylo says, seizing the flowers and dumping them to the nearby biodegradable trashcan.

While Rey gasps at Ben’s abruptness, her arm is grasped and she is propelled to go in inside the ICU. “I could have spent a fortune on those.”

“No, you didn’t. You took them from Luke’s back garden.”

—oOo—

They come out of the ICU after several minutes. Rey looks at the trash. Her flowers are gone. She hopes someone has picked them up and made use of their beauty.

Kylo following her gaze, asks, “Why’d you bring that anyway?”

“Well, I was hoping they’ll transfer Luke to his own room today. Hospital rooms are so drab, they need cheering up.”

“I bet just seeing your face would have cheered him up.”

Rey tilts her head up, and tries to catch Kylo’s gaze. “Did you mean that in a nice way or in a disgusting way?”

“Nice way.”

“Okay.”

Kylo has arrived at the hospital two hours ago. And before he left the house, he checked on Rey’s breakfast, it remained untouched. She has not returned after leaving at five in the morning. “Did you eat? I’m starving.”

Rey grins. The diner provides free breakfast but not lunch. “Starving.”

They walk together towards the hospital cafeteria. Kylo touches the small of her back to usher her ahead of him in the line to order then he tries to pay for her generously amassed meal.

Ben is already giving the money to the cashier when Rey realizes his intent. Rey puts her own hand on top of his outstretched hand to the cashier to press it down. “I can pay. Thank you.”

Kylo retracts his hand as if burned. “I’m sure you can. You work hard to earn your keep, don’t you?”

Rey, lulled into thinking that Ben has changed his opinion about her, looks up sharply. The man is the worst. _“_ _Yes, I do,”_ she scowls, knowing they both mean different things.

“ _You know,_ I won’t bait you so much if you’re not so touchy,” Kylo says as he slides into a chair in front of Rey with his tray. “And being touchy is a sure sign of guilt.”

“We don’t have to share a table, _you know_.”

“I know.” Kylo tucks in into his food. “But where’s the entertainment in that.”

“Oh so I provide you with entertainment, Mr. Solo? How lucky am I to be of some use to you.”

“I’m not using you. My uncle did though.” Kylo says between mouthfuls. “And you can call me Kylo. You’re flaunting your so called _closeness_ to each other if you keep calling me Mr. Solo and my uncle, who is both our senior, just plain Luke, don’t you think?”

Rey grabs her still full glass of water and just throws the content into Ben’s face.

“ _What the hell!”_ Kylo shouts, wiping the water from his face with his open hand only to see the tears gathering in Rey’s beautiful hazel eyes. “I—”

“ _You’re not gonna believe me even when I deny it a million times!”_

Kylo snaps, “There are evidences—”

“What evidences?”

Kylo glances around. There are about six other people in the cafeteria. They can’t talk here.

Rey follows Kylo’s gaze appalled to realize that they are now the cynosure of attention. Even if she doesn’t know these people, they’re bound to know someone that knows Luke or maybe they even know Luke. _What_ _is_ _she doing_ , arguing publicly with his stupid nephew!

—oOo—

Rey avoids Kylo in his uncle’s home and at the hospital. She still cooks his breakfast though and leaves him dinner just because she used to do that for Luke. However, with Luke before, she ate the food with him at the same time on the table.

There’s always leftover after Kylo eats. On the third day, she finally realizes why. Kylo thinks she hasn’t eaten yet. Or maybe she’s cooking a bit much. Kylo has a bigger frame than Luke so she kind of cooks a bigger portion for him. Tomorrow, she’ll cut the amount.

On the fourth day, Rey reduces the amount of breakfast she prepares, but the amount of leftover remains the same. She frowns. Since she cooked a smaller portion, the remaining food is more than half of what she prepared for the day.

So Ben, who calls himself Kylo for whatever reason she doesn’t want to know, noticed the amount of food she piled up on her plate at the hospital cafeteria. Well, she was starving at the time, having missed the meals of the day before... _H_ _e doesn’t really think she eats that much all the time, does he?_

On the fifth day, she leaves a note. It says: _I’ve already eaten_. The note has taken her atleast five minutes to write because she has inwardly debated whether to put Rey or not...but since it’s obvious it came from her, she has decided not to sign it. She then wonders the whole day if her message sounds too friendly for being less formal.

Kylo notices the note propped up on the table beside the dish of sausages and french toast. She has a beautiful penmanship but she should have waited for him to wake up and said those three measly words to his face. She’s still avoiding him and somehow that irks him. She wasn’t the one who went home with wet clothes. He did.

Kylo goes to the hospital much later than his usual time of visiting—during the time he knows Rey will be in to visit his uncle.

He arrives just in time to see Rey chatting with a female nurse. Someone must have said a lame joke because they both are laughing. He can see Rey’s profile and the artist in him notices how the laughter changes her face. She becomes more beautiful with her lips wreathe with an upward curve, her eyes dancing with merriment and her nose twitching. She has a cute nose. He thinks his favorite part of her face aside from her lips and eyes is her nose. Her eyebrows are pretty expressive too. He likes looking at her face— _strictly_ from an artist point of view, of course. And then there’s her voice. He can’t decide whether he prefers to hear her simply talking or arguing. At the moment, he thinks he prefers anything so long as he hears it.

He hasn’t heard it for five, long days.

He hasn’t seen her even when they’re both staying at the same house. How she was able to do that...he has an idea...She goes out early and comes home and stays in her room doing _God knows what._

“You appear to be cheerful,” Kylo says in greeting, approaching Rey just as the female nurse leaves.

Rey’s lips flatline.

“Don’t let me stop you from smiling. If you do, you admit I’m winning,” taunts Kylo.

Rey frowns. “You’re late.”

“What do you mean, I’m late. My uncl—”

“I didn’t mean you’re too late. Luke is the same as yesterday. Still in a coma. I mean you’re late for your usual time in coming here.”

“I’m not late for anything, Rey...” Kylo comes closer, so much closer as he gazes down into her eyes. “Not when I want to see you.”

 

—oOo—

 

~ 2 13 18 AF/P~

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Dinner is most important meal

Rey takes a step back, away from Kylo, but the wall behind her prevents her movement. “What— _what_ do you mean you want to see me?” she stammers.

Kylo just takes another step closer. Rey avoiding him, irks him. Rey acting skittish… pisses him off. “You are wise to be afraid.”

Rey sucks in her breath and releases it in a hiss, _“I’m not afraid of you!”_

Kylo merely smiles knowingly.

“Why do you want to see me?” Rey shoves at Kylo’s chest so she can move and gain more distance between them.

“My mom and dad are calling long distance again tonight and I want you to reassure them that uncle Luke is doing well. They stopped believing me since mom said and I quote, _‘_ _I_ _f your uncle’s fine why don’t_ _you_ _put him on the phone?’”_

“You haven’t told your parents yet that your uncle is in a coma?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I have my reasons. And you don’t have to know them.”

“Your mom and your dad are also Luke’s family. They should be here too. It’s already been almost a week since Luke was rushed here.”

“They only found out that Luke is in the hospital this morning.” And Kylo only informs his parents that his uncle is in the hospital to have several tests done which in a way is true. The doctors are poking and doing several other things to evaluate his uncle’s mental status and they say that the results are promising. Promising and yet the doctors won’t allow transfer to another hospital.

“ _What?_ How can you be so selfish?” accuses Rey.

“ _Selfish?!”_ Kylo looks down sharply at Rey. “The reason why I haven’t told them the full truth is because on the contrary I’m selfless. _I’m here_ and doing this to spare them, pain.” The waiting alone will drive his father crazy, and his mother will want to do something. Her being useless, is something Leia Skywalker-Solo doesn’t do well.

“That’s not how family works.”

“In your family perhaps...but in mine, if I can shield my mother from this for a while, I’ll do it.”

“I don’t have a family. If something happens to me there’s nobody there to notify,’ murmurs Rey, her voice fading as she wonders why she’s telling these things to Ben of all people. He won’t care that if something happens to her, she doesn’t know who to impose on. Maybe Finn but...if she’s comatose too and with a mounting financial burden...No, she can’t do that to her friend.

“ _What do you mean you don’t have a family, Rey?”_

If he hasn’t said her name in that voice, so gentle like he suddenly cared for her answer, she wouldn’t tell him. “I never knew my father and my mother was pregnant with me when she was fifteen. She...she gave me away. She had to, I guess.”

“ _No! She didn’t have to.”_

“I have to believe she had a valid reason for giving me away,” Rey says defensively, angry tears suddenly springing from her eyes, _“...so don’t take that away from me!”_

Kylo is taken aback. Somehow, he’s crossed a line that even her enemy should never cross. Saying _sorry_ seems inadequate, lame, useless. So Kylo just grabs Rey’s arm and pulls her into his own arms. The embrace that follows shocks him more than it does Rey. He’s not a hugger but he doesn’t know what to say as her tears continue to fall down her face. This way he doesn’t have to watch the tears.

After a while, she sniffs.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yes. Thank you,” she replies.

—oOo—

Kylo wakes up at six the next day. As expected his breakfast is waiting and with a note. But unlike yesterday, the note makes him smile, a little lopsided.

It says, _This is all yours._

Everything is his…He can take whatever he wants...And that powerful thought just starts the morning, right.

Even the fact that Rey has absolutely refused to talk to his mom to support what she called his lie, doesn’t deter his good mood.

Dinner last night was satisfying. For the first time, he shared a meal with Rey. She cooked, he washed. His uncle doesn’t even own a dishwasher but last night, that did not bother him.

Rey prepared steak taken from Luke’s freezer. His uncle still stocked heavily on anything he needs and even grow vegetables on his back garden rather than go to town frequently.

However, by mutual consent Kylo and Rey did not talk about Luke or about art or about anything that could remind them of Luke and his medical situation that has several worst case scenarios.

His parents then became a taboo subject and anyway, it was something he doesn’t want to talk about.

If his parents was off limits...her numerous _‘_ _parents’_ was on limit.

Rey kept saying with a small smile that it wasn’t so bad growing up in foster homes but he had seen the tears that afternoon and he knows she was lying. She can lie convincingly.

She learned to behave well because she was told she would only get adopted if she was well-behaved. She even admitted that because of that, she sucks at swearing which earned a laugh from him. He’s good at swearing.

He tried to coach her but she’s hopeless. She mouthed, _“Mother fucking asshole?”_ with a laugh and the way she said it was just adorable and not even a little bit mean.

Then the topic shifted to food because that was something Rey was good at... _Eating._

And him... He might just surprise her.

—oOo—

Kylo plans to prepare dinner this time.

He calls on the phone and orders his troops to bring him the things that he needs. Fresh vegetables, various fruits, rice, beef, pork, fish, seafoods and whatever ingredients he may require arrive in the afternoon.

And there’s also chocolate cake, newly baked, along with the thing he needs to make it all happen—a recipe book. He just needs to browse through it to find the perfect meal.

He plans on besting Rey in this. He’s using fresh ingredients so how hard can that feat be…

_An hour or so later…_

While carving a watermelon, Kylo’s right hand holding a brand new knife, slips and accidentally cuts his left wrist. Fruit carving, which he just discovers from the thick book, can be quite addicting but he doesn’t really have the proper tools for it.

Immediately grabbing the nearest hand towel, Kylo applies pressure on the wound. He can see the red seep through the towel. With a curse, he dashes out of the kitchen and throws the towel on the foyer floor on his way out to his car to get his med kit. He remembers belatedly that he shouldn’t have used that towel, it’s already dirty.

Rey arrives and the first thing she sees when she opens the door is the a droplet of blood then another then the bloodied towel on the foyer floor. Heart thumping, she rushes out again, slamming the door closed. She knows something bad happened to Ben. Of all the days that her car would break down, this would be the day!

She starts running. Just minutes ago, someone from the hospital has dropped her off near Luke’s place and she has walked the rest of the way. She wonders how she can get back to the hospital without transport and it’s getting dark.

..She’ll decide when she gets to the road. Maybe she’ll get lucky and a car will pass by. She’ll just wave like crazy and explain it’s an emergency.

“ _Why are you running?”_ Kylo shouts from the direction of the garage, his left hand covered with a neat bandage.

Mid run, Rey swivels around abruptly that she almost stumbles. _“Oh,”_ she utters, catching her breath. “I thought— _uhm_ —there was blood on the foyer.”

“Yeah.” Kylo shrugs. “And you’re fleeing because...a little blood scared you?”

“No. I—” Rey about to explain that she got worried like a normal human being, closes her mouth. She takes a steadying breath and says as nonchalantly as possible, “What happened to your hand?”

“Just a little cut. It bled a lot though.”

“You’re good with the bandage.”

“I had a lot of practice,” answers Kylo then abruptly changes the topic. “I didn’t hear you arrive. I just heard the front door.”

“My car broke down.”

“Did you walk all the way here? _Because that is foolish!_ Trucks pass through these roads and you’re so tiny they would have not seen you!”

“Of course, I didn’t walk all the way. I had a lift.”

“ _Who gave you a lift?”_

“Paige. She’s a nurse at the hospital. She dropped me off at the crossing.”

“I don’t like it, you still walked a long way. Next time, you call me. I’ll come and get you.”

“There’s no need to do that.”

“There is. It’ll save the trucks from a road menace like you.”

“Haha,” Rey utters, sarcastically.

Kylo grabs Rey’s arm and shakes her. “Even the most seasoned driver can make a mistake, Rey.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll call...you.” Rey mumbles. Good thing, tomorrow is her day off. Otherwise, her calling him at five in the morning to drive her to work will just receive a nasty answer for her efforts.

—oOo—

_Dinner_

Kylo has cooked dinner that’s why he’s wearing a bandage on his left hand…

Actually, cooked is a bit strong a word. More of he has prepared a dainty collection of different kinds of sushi and a basket of pretty carved fruits that now resemble flowers. And of course, there’s chocolate cake. They all look too exquisite to eat. Not too filling but really beautiful.

She must have eaten a lot of the tiny, bite sized sushi...for Kylo appears quite triumphant. She doesn’t tell him though that it’s either she eats a lot or starve.

By ten pm that night, Rey is feeling some hunger pangs. She’s supposed to be used to it. Tomorrow she’ll cook dinner and she promises herself it will involve thick slabs of meat.

—oOo—

Kylo wakes up at 4:40 am. He brushes his teeth, puts on his plaid shirt and jeans. Then he grabs his car keys from the bedside table and by 4:54 he’s knocking on Rey’s door.

Rey opens the door, still wearing her oversize shirt and pyjamas, and her hair sticking out at the back of her head. “Did the hospital call? Did something happen to Luke?”

“Aren’t you going out?” Kylo asks slowly. “I’m gonna drive you to wherever gym you hit this early. I might even join you.”

“ _Ben! I was sleeping!”_ exclaims Rey, dismayed. She slept late the night before. Her hunger for something last night keeping her awake. And that’s Ben’s fault too. “I’m going back to bed.” She then closes the door to Ben’s face and goes back to bed. It’s her day off, she plans to oversleep. Ben can go exercise on his own, prepare his sushi and eat it.

—oOo—

~2 14 18 AF P 2 15 18~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ops, it didn’t make it for Vday...


	5. The friend of a friend is an enemy

By 9 am, Rey finally comes out of her room, well rested and ready to tackle the day armed with her usual cheerful smile.

The smile slips a little when she sees Ben in front of the stove, cooking something that smells a little burnt.

“You want me to do that?” Rey offers. Coming closer to Ben so she can glance down into the pan. The sunny side up egg now looks like a cratered whitish-brown planet. A smile twitching about her lips, she makes a grab for the pan, getting ready to take over.

“Go away!” Kylo huffs. “I like my eggs, burnt!”

“Who likes their eggs like that?” Rey’s laughs, watching Ben’s lips pout. “You big baby.”

“You did not wake up. You forgot to make my breakfast,” snaps Kylo. “I bet you didn’t once forgot to cook breakfast for my uncle.”

“How much will you bet on that?”

“A million portions.”

“And you would have won a million,” teases Rey.

Kylo is about to open his mouth to retort when they both hear a car arriving, blowing its horn once to announce its entry.

“ _That must be Andy!”_ Rey exclaims in exuberant tone. Not bothering to hear what Ben is about to say as she rushes out of the kitchen, dashing to the front yard.

Kylo turns off the stove and follows Rey out. “Who is Andy?” he asks Rey’s back.

It turns out Andy is the kid from the gasoline station all grown up. He must be eighteen or nineteen by now. Right about Rey’s age.

“Good morning, Mr. Solo,” Andy greets the man standing a little pass outside the door with a tentative smile. “Hope your uncle recovers soon.”

Kylo nods his head at the boy.

Rey is smiling hugely at Andy, thanking him profusely for bringing her car and offering to take him back to the gas station and to give him breakfast at the diner first.

Kylo could have brought Rey to the gasoline station that also doubles as a repair shop to get her car if she asks him. That way she doesn’t have to drive back and forth. “Rey, my breakfast,” he reminds her.

“The egg looks delicious,” Rey says cheekily then she gets in her car, gestures at Andy to take the passenger side and then they are off.

Kylo slams the door closed. He’s not gonna cook dinner tonight.

—oOo—

Kylo is walking briskly. It’s 10:37 in the morning already. He usually comes earlier to visit. He wants to be the first one that Luke sees when he finally opens his eyes. It’s going to drive in farther to his uncle what an asshole he was ten years ago when their situation was reversed.

Kylo opens the door to Luke’s private room. The first thing he sees is Rey seated by bed, holding Luke’s hand, with tears streaming down her face.

Kylo approaches the bed, looking at the heart monitor at the side of it for assurance.

“Mitaka called me. He said Luke is awake,” speaks Kylo, his tone questioning because his uncle remains un-moving with eyes closed, the same as the days before.

Rey offers a trembling smile of relief. “Your uncle is just sleeping now.”

“ _Sleeping?”_ Kylo asks in disbelief before he leans down the bed and shakes the body lying there.

“ _Ben, what are you doing?!”_ gasps Rey, grabbing his hand to stop him.

“Ben?” groans from the bed.

“Yes, I’m here,” answers Kylo. “And I’m known as Kylo now.”

Luke opens his eyes gradually, as if the light hurts his eyes. “Rey said you’re here too. I couldn’t believe her.”

“She doesn’t always lie,” retorts Kylo.

Rey looks up sharply at Kylo and when she returns her gaze back to Luke, she sees that the patient has his eyes closed again. The nurse said that that is usual and that they have nothing to worry about. Rey sighs. Luke probably hasn’t heard what Kylo just said, much less notice his tone and she’s grateful for that.

—oOo—

“Yes mom, I’m making sure the nurses take good care of Luke. You can come to visit him but he wouldn’t like that.” Kylo moves his lips in a pause. “Me being here seems like a big shock to him already. The doctors said to limit surprises.”

“Can I talk to him?” Leia asks a thousand times it seems.

“Wait,” Kylo says to his mobile phone before he enters his uncle’s room so he can give the phone to his uncle.

“Leia,” utters Luke to the phone. “I’m fine. No need to rush here to visit.”

“Is that reverse psychology?” Leia questions.

“ _Oh God, no._ I would appreciate it more if you don’t travel for a day for my sake. I will only send you away again. And that will only make me feel more guilty. When I’m stronger in a few months, maybe you and Han can come visit. I want to paint both of you.”

“You already painted us together once.”

“It’ll be my gift for your thirtieth wedding anniversary.” Luke glances up at Ben before he continues, “And since your son wastes his talents on abstract, I can’t expect him to do something like that for you.”

“ _I’m not wasting my talent!”_ scowls Kylo. “Just because you can’t understand them...”

“You paint too?” Rey asks. _“As in you get paid for it?”_ She shouldn’t be surprised. Ben Skywalker Solo AKA Kylo is Luke’s nephew. But the times she’d seen him at the cottage doing anything is with documents and not paintbrushes. And the one time she went to the living room and heard him on the phone, he was talking to his troops, discussing strategies. He sounds and acts like a successful businessman rather than a starving artist.

“You know if you are what you claimed to be you would not ask that,” Kylo sneers.

Rey stares at Kylo, suddenly feeling attacked. She’s not earning yet as an artist but she is one. Then her gaze drops to Luke, seated on his bed, talking to his sister, Leia, on the phone. Rey raises again her head as she straightens her spine, warning Kylo with the sharpness of her eyes not to upset Luke. Obviously, the unspoken truce is finished, now, that Luke is awake. Kylo is obviously bristling, like he’s angry about something she did...Problem is, she doesn’t know what exactly. Is she back to being Luke’s special friend in his eyes?

The truce lasted for roughly three days. Rey should be thankful it lasted that long. Both her and Ben had stayed away from topics they know will rile the other. Because of this she decided to still do her sketching inside her room. She doesn’t want him to view her work and pronounce that she’s not worthy to be Luke’s student. Maybe she should have shown him…

She hasn’t tried hard enough to change his mind. She just believed that he would do that on his own once he got to know her.

_During the truce,_ _he did not_ _g_ _e_ _t to know her._ They didn’t spend that much time together. They still haven’t shared breakfast nor lunch. But dinner, they had shared three times.

Last night, she even cooked in front of him and he acted like a food critic. She laughed at him and told him, he was like a pot that called the kettle black. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she thought she had given him an opening to accuse her again of being a black and tarnished gold digger but he only admitted that her cooking was better than his. That he enjoyed the beef stew and salad.

It was only just last night when she had slept so well. Luke was finally awake and Kylo was behaving like a decent human being. He didn’t argue when she said she’ll cook him dinner. She said it’s a thank you for the sushi and that she plans to make it special. He then stayed in the kitchen to watch her cook and be a nuisance.

Luke woke up yesterday. He didn’t talk much. He just went to sleep again until Kylo decided he couldn’t hold his breath and roughly shook his uncle awake to check if he was just really sleeping but today Luke’s almost back to normal and with it, Rey can see Kylo’s suspicion about her and Luke is back too.

Rey feels the disappointment, the heaviness in her chest that makes her want to lash out. She faces Kylo across Luke’s bed and glares at him. She opens her mouth without sound and gives shape to each word clearly, _“I hate you.”_

Luke doesn’t notice because he has his eyes closed talking reason to his sister that he doesn’t want her underfoot on his account. It takes several seconds before Luke even opens his eyes and she’s able to gesture to him that she’s going out of the room.

While Kylo, Kylo has seen it. He doesn’t need to be a lip reader to know what Rey just said to him. She said she hates him...as if the words can wound him.

He had long ago learned not to let the actions of others, hurt him. And Rey is nothing to him. Her words mean nothing to him.

—oO—

In the hospital corridor, outside Luke’s room, Rey is waiting for Kylo to come out.

As soon as he appears, Rey grabs Kylo’s bandaged left arm, pulling him all the way up to the chapel to talk. She expects him to shake her hold on him but he does not.

She chooses the chapel. It’s a place where most of the time nobody is there because it’s dimly lighted and spooky. And it’s noontime, everyone’s eating lunch.

Rey lets go of the unresisting arm she’s holding. “I hope you don’t just blurt out what you think of me to your uncle. It’s bound to give him another heart attack which this time can lead to fatal cardiac arrest.”

“I’m not stupid. I know that,” Kylo snaps. His right hand still cradling his left arm, annoyed that he can still feel the imprint of Rey’s fingers on his _damn_ arm.

“Oh but you’re stupid for still believing those awful things about me and Luke,” Rey growls back.

Kylo asks softly, the rage tightly controlled, “You genuinely care about my uncle?”

“Of course, I do,” Rey answers simply.

“At this moment, I believe you.”

Rey retorts, “I’m not gonna say thank you because I don’t owe you anything for believing.”

She is too angry herself to notice the cold menace in Kylo’s voice. 

—oOo—

 

 

~2 16 18 AF P 2 19 18~

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate the comments, guys...(I like them, I re-read them, I wonder whether I should answer...and I update because of them). Thank you. 
> 
> Thanks too for the kudos and follows...(without them, I will feel the story is sooooooooooooooo lame...Now, I just think it's soo lame :p )


	6. A House is Not a Home

 

Luke is scheduled to have another surgery. This time a defibrillator will be implanted in his chest to protect him from another cardiac arrest.

It is too invasive a procedure to do right away in his condition. The doctors have advise to wait for several days before they can perform it. Luke must then still stay at the hospital.

Luke has been conscious for a week when his lawyer arrive at the hospital at 9:49 am, carrying the documents he was called to draft days before.

Kylo himself arrives as he usually does at 10 in the morning. And two seconds into his arrival at Luke’s own private room with a bouquet of commercial flowers, he is asked by his uncle to be a witness of the documents being signed.

His chest heaving, Kylo tries to hide his anger as he signs the documents. His uncle has just lost his mind but he’s not going to contest the will.

He leaves the room as soon as he puts his signature in, leaving the lawyer and his uncle to their chitchat. His blood boiling, he goes to the men’s room and rages, hitting the wall with the bouquet he brought with him.

His uncle’s room is littered with Rey’s cheap flowers. He gave in and bought his own bouquet so he can removed those of Rey’s. His is an intricate arrangement of red roses and white lilies, but rather than grace his uncle’s room with their beauty, he’s going to destroy it.

He hit the wall with his bouquet, smashing it over and over.

Finally spent, the blood-like red and dirtied-white flower petals lie scattered and bruised on the tiled floor. Kylo decides that if he needs proof that there’s something going on between his uncle and Rey, here it is. Luke has just given away his treasures—his house and its contents to Rey.

His uncle has just betrayed him again and worst, Luke has made sure that he knows it. Luke must have recognized that he likes the cottage, loves it even.

Uncle Luke had taught him how to paint there, in the house by the mountain...Granted, he didn’t want to be compared to his uncle so his art is more abstract and modern. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to inherit.

_The house should be his!_ His uncle owes it to him. His uncle is the one who almost ruined his life ten years ago.

—oOo—

Ten years ago, Ben and his uncle were traveling on their way back home, back to the cottage from celebrating his nineteenth birthday when _it_ happened. Luke was driving when they had an accident. His uncle lost control of the car, then the passenger side rammed into a big tree before it even skidded to a stop.

It was a big, sturdy car and it happened so fast. Ben's right arm was on the path of the impact, his forearm was smashed into the door window frame and his hand hit the glass.

Luke tried to start the car. Outwardly the car didn't look so bad unless you looked closely at the door on the passenger side but still something must be wrong with it since no matter how much Luke tried to start it, the car remained silent. It was dark, except where the lights from the car could reach. His uncle tried to look under the hood, but he abandoned it, probably because it was pointless looking when it was too dark.

The passenger door was jammed. Luke had to assist Ben to slide into the driver seat. Luke was visibly shaken and Ben, the boy that he was, had slouched on the driver’s seat, his arm propped on the steering wheel while he tried to stop the bleeding.

Ben’s right arm bore the worst of the impact when the car collided with the tree. The pain was excruciating on his hand and arm up to his shoulder. And at the back of his head, his greatest fear loomed. As he watched the blood spread into his sleeve, he knew his arm wouldn’t be the same again. He could taste the fear that he might not be able to paint again. And that fear would last him his life time.

Luke had to leave Ben, to walk on foot to look for help for there was no phone in the car.

While Leia and Han, who left the restaurant minutes ahead of them to Luke’s cottage, arrived at the scene when they didn’t appear some time after them. By then, Ben was still sitting on the driver’s seat, with his hand having stopped bleeding and Luke wasn’t back yet. Leia and Han didn’t see Luke on the road. It might be because Luke did not follow the road and used a short cut though the trees instead.

The first thing that his mom did was scold him for driving recklessly, then his father followed suit, just because he was sitting on the driver seat. Ben didn’t feel like correcting them in his anger over their assumption.

Leia and Han were the ones who drove Ben to the nearest hospital and then in less than an hour, he was airlifted to transfer to a specialized hospital.

There were several cuts on his right forearm and right hand; and the bone underneath was fractured but those were the least of Ben’s concerns. One of the major nerves in his hand was damaged. The doctors said it was prudent to assume that it will be difficult for him to control the brush to paint professionally. But his rage to prove the so called experts wrong fueled his determination to regain 100% of his arm’s function. With time, hard work and help, he was able to do it. His mom did everything. Leia called in the specialists, and no money was spared so he could paint again. But that did not stop him from hating everyone then.

He would never admit that his uncle was driving that night, that it wasn’t his fault. That they were wrong. And because they were wrong, he felt righteous in his anger.

Ben Skywalker-Solo, when he could paint again, took on the pseudonym of Kylo Ren. The art world never knew Ben Skywalker-Solo, but they knew Kylo Ren.

That time had remained to be the worst time of his life. Kylo still has nightmares about himself in that car, his imagination always worst that what it was. Sometimes he dreams that his forearm is bent at an angle. He sees the blood and feels the pain on his arm as if it’s happening again. And the worst part is the fear. That fear never leaves him. He always relives it in his nightmares.

—oOo—

The next day, Kylo doesn’t bother to visit his uncle at the hospital. In the mood he’s in, it’s better that way. Instead, he goes out to visit Hux, his friend when he still lived in the area. They have some beers then Hux’s wife drops him off at his uncle’s home, with his car left at Hux’s place. Pleasantly intoxicated, he tries to sleep.

A new day comes again, and the same as yesterday, he is the one who avoids Rey.

It goes on for another day before Rey knocks on his door at 4: 47 am.

“Your uncle is asking for you. He’s wondering if your sulking,” says Rey through the door.

Hearing the accusation in her voice, Kylo gets up from his bed and snatches the door open. “You can tell him, I’m not,” he snarls.

With him wearing a loose shirt and long pyjama bottoms with his hair more tousled than usual, he doesn’t appear even half intimidating. “Tell him yourself. He’s also asking who got the flowers you brought him when you last visited.”

Remembering what happened to the blooms, reminds him of his uncle’s betrayal. “It wasn’t for him.”

Rey has to bite her tongue. She almost blurts out, _‘_ _W_ _ho then?’_ It must be for the woman who dropped him two nights ago.

Since the day the truce ended, Ben has been polite to her. He doesn’t openly ignore her but he doesn’t offer to cook dinner either. Even if it’s just sushi, Rey prefers it over the awkward conversation on the table at night.

They act like two strangers sharing a meal at dinner.

Ben will say, “Can you pass the ketchup, Rey?” and she can’t say, “Get it yourself, Kylo.” She will just give it to him and he will say, “Thank you.”

If she thought it couldn’t get worse, she was wrong.

It started two nights ago. That night they didn’t even share a dinner. Obviously, by the lateness of the hour when he came home he had already eaten. A beautiful blonde woman had dropped him off. He leaned on the window and kissed the woman’s cheek in goodbye, a genuine smile on his lips.

Rey doesn’t doubt the flowers were for that woman.

Ever since that night, Kylo actively stays away from the house. Only coming home to sleep. He doesn’t even eat the dinner she prepared. Thankfully, he eats his breakfast, maybe because that one he can eat alone.

But enough of him acting as if he alone has a chip on his shoulder. His uncle is the reason why he’s here so he better spare some time to visit his uncle out of his busy flirting schedule. “Make sure you visit Luke today,” Rey says in a huff then turns around to leave.

“ _Or what?”_ Kylo asks, coldly, “He takes me out of his will?”

Rey swivels around. “Is that why you’re here? To make sure you will be compensated?” she questions, feeling anger and an unexplained disappointment. “You don’t really care at all, do you?”

“ _While you care a lot!”_ Kylo snaps, raised voice dripping with sarcasm.

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to contradict you?”

Kylo hits the door with his right forearm near Rey’s head, surprising her. _“I want you to admit the truth!”_

Rey straightens. “You’re trying to intimidate me but I’m not afraid of you.”

“ _You should be!”_ scowls Kylo. “I don’t make a good opponent especially to someone who takes what is mine.”

“ _I didn’t take anything from you!”_

Watching her spits the words out, it suddenly dawns on Kylo that she’s not even aware about the will. “You don’t know anything.”

“I know what is important! I know why you act like you have a right to be angry at your uncle.”

“You do? _Ah, you do._ ”

“Yes! You still blame him and his car for what happened to your arm!”

“So he told you everything...including who was driving that night?”

“Luke doesn’t have to tell me anything. Someone said you were driving.” No, Luke hasn’t told her anything...It was Andy, when they had breakfast at the diner that day he drove her car and saw Ben, he remarked that it was good that Ben visited his uncle.

“ _And that someone is right, of course?”_

Rey bites her lip. “Your arm is okay now. Let the past go.”

His uncle never said he was sorry. He just...dropped out from his life. And even when he phoned his uncle and begged him for help during his rehab, his uncle only replied that he swore he will never train another student anymore. He believed his uncle, there will never be a new student. Rey is not his uncle’s apprentice. The past is very much alive. Nobody can kill it. “No,” Kylo replies.

“Still visit him today. He wants to see you.”

“Just go, Rey.”

Rey looks sadly at him, wanting to touch his arm. In the end, she does nothing but to step away. When her back is turned to him, she hears Kylo’s soft voice admits, “I’ve been here for a couple of weeks now, visiting him daily. At that time, ten years ago, he never once visited me in the hospital.”

—oOo—

The next day, Kylo visits the hospital. His presence is his revenge.

But his uncle acts the same as the past week as if his presence is welcome. Luke even talks about the things they used to do before the accident as if the accident never happened. And then just like that his uncle ask him to teach Rey how to paint.

_Damn it,_ his uncle is just too much.

And it’s only because his uncle still has to undergo one surgery and is still not well that he bites his retort.

—oOo—

 

~2 10 18 AF P 2 27 18~


	7. Down the garden path

 

Kylo kills the engine. He should put his car in the garage but the view of the house has made him stop from quite a distance, surveying the beautiful structure framed by the trees in the darkness.

If his uncle dies, Rey will have the house and everything in it.

It’s a pleasant cottage, situated in an area of solitude. Kylo has a lot of great memories in it. Even as a child, with his parents they would visit uncle Luke, and the cottage is his favorite place. When his uncle invited him to stay, he couldn’t wait to tell Leia. He knew Leia would agree.

_Rey._

His uncle expects him to teach her. _Why?_ If she’s good enough to be Luke’s student, she must be good enough for other artists to teach. There’s no need to involve him. He’s not staying on. His uncle has spelled it out that he isn’t welcome. The house isn’t his home. Not anymore. Which means his uncle is probably betting on the fact that he won’t want to teach Rey that’s why he was asked to. It was his uncle’s way of saving face—to maintain the lie that Rey is his student.

_Or._..Rey can actually paint.

That possibility is something Kylo will never accept. It will mean that Rey has the ability to change his uncle’s mind. Whereas, he... he failed. Ten years ago in need of his uncle’s help, he had beg on the phone but still Luke had not changed his mind. He went through his rehab on his own. His uncle’s support would have put things in better perspective but all he heard was his own harsh voice. Even when his arm and hand hurt, he pushed it because there was nobody there who he could trust when they say it’d be alright. His mom and dad did not count because they were not artist like his uncle. He wouldn’t admit it then but he was scared when his uncle Luke abandoned him. _He was just 19 for fuck’s sake!_

Kylo turns the key in the ignition and puts his car in the garage. The view leaving a bad taste in his mouth.

It’s late in the evening but not as late as the times he comes home for the past three nights. By now Rey should have eaten her dinner.

_Dinner._ How can someone associate dinner to a person, he doesn’t know.

But these days, Rey means dinner. Rey means the cottage. Rey means...

That evening, Kylo still arrives early enough for him to see Rey in the kitchen. She’s washing the dishes she used for her dinner. Her hands coated in soap suds in the sink.

“You’re probably good with your hands,” Kylo says, his attention drawn to her fingers as they wrap around the sponge and squeeze gently. More suds appear as if they’re suddenly freed from the sponge and they try to cling but unsuccessful to her hand. The suds sink to the sink.

Rey ignores him, washing the suds off. She has a feeling he doesn’t mean good with her hands, painting, but good with something else.

“Why didn’t you tell my uncle that I already know about you two?” Kylo asks. “Why still continue with your stupid charade?”

Rey finally turns to face Kylo. He has been ignoring her, missing dinner for three consecutive nights. And now he shows himself to her, fresh with new insults. _“What are you accusing me of now?”_

Kylo shrugs. “I still don’t believe you can paint.”

“ _I didn’t worm my way here th_ _e_ _way_ _you think I did_ _!_ I understand if the people in town talked—but you— _you should know better!”_ implores Rey, as she tries to grapple for reasons for Kylo’s bullheadedness. “ _I can paint!_ _Do you hear?_ _”_

“Then prove it.” Kylo starts removing the buttons of his plaid shirt from their buttonholes.

“ _What—_ _what_ _are you doing?”_ Rey watches as Kylo’s fingers reveal little by little the skin on his throat, his chest. _“I’m not going to bed with you!”_

“I wouldn’t want to go to bed with my uncle’s bought girlfriend either.”

Rey realizes belatedly that Kylo’s continuing belief that she is Luke’s girlfriend, gives her some sort of protection from him. _“Good,”_ she mutters. She just agrees to a lie. She bows her head, not meeting his eyes until she hears a zipper being opened. Rey looks up, aghast, seeing a topless Kylo lowering his jeans. He then kicks the denim off his feet then his fingers travel up to his hips to hook into his black briefs. _“Stop!”_ shouts Rey, her heart racing. “You said you’re not interested in me that way.” Maybe she’s wrong. She’s more in danger if she stops sticking to the truth.

Kylo chuckles. Watching the blossom of red across her cheeks and the way she tries not to glance down at him. Either Rey is innocent or Rey is playing innocent. _Not interested in her that way?_ _Is she blind?_ Even with his briefs still on, it must be obvious to her that he’s not unaffected.

Kylo’s amusement ends in a sneer. “If you can really paint, you can prove it by drawing me nude.”

“I— _”_ Rey should feel relieve but the feeling of adrenaline suddenly leaving her body only makes her feel weak and let down. _“—I_ haven’t done any before. I only have drawn faces. Mostly, I paint still life. Nature...I haven’t done nudes before.”

“Surely, you have done it in school?”

“I don’t have formal training.”

That explains why she hasn’t heard of his name. That is if he believes her story. But he doesn’t.

Rey continues, “That’s why Luke’s generosity means a lot to me.”

It’s the worst thing she can say. It only reminds Kylo of Luke’s other act of generosity. It makes him want to prove more that she’s a fake. Her talent doesn’t lie on making beautiful things appear on the canvas. It lies with what she does, sweaty and physical, with someone in bed. Thinking that, he imagines her reclining on _his_ bed, wearing a red flimsy made of nothing, her small breast peaking. He can’t help but become harder and Rey, finally notices the bulge this time.

Rey stares at his briefs. She may be an innocent but that’s not because she wasn’t offered an opportunity to become experienced but because her mother had her when she was just fifteen. Indiscriminate sex can lead to unwanted pregnancy and she promised herself that when she gives herself to a man it will mean something. “Don’t you dare remove that thing or I’ll bloody scream.”

With his fingers still hooked into the waistband of his briefs, Kylo scoffs, “But who will hear you, sweetheart?”

Then Rey realizes he’s just standing there. He’s not making a move to stop her from escaping. Face red, she flees.

“This proves, you can’t paint.”

Rey ignores the taunt.

As soon as Rey runs out of the kitchen, Kylo releases his breath in a whoosh. If Rey has said _y_ _es, she’ll paint him nude_ , he will be totally screwed. He’ll probably poached his uncle’s property and be damned.

His uncle should be the one feeling guilty, not him.

—oOo—

As soon as Rey runs out of the kitchen, Kylo releases his breath in a whoosh. If Rey has said _yes, she’ll paint him nude,_ he will be totally screwed. He’ll probably poached his uncle’s property and be damned.

His uncle should be the one feeling guilty, not him.

But the guilt continues to grow heavier as he leans on the side of the kitchen table, imaging her. Imagining that Rey’s blushes are for him...Her smiles are for him. Her ecstasy, her cries, her begging to take her are all just for him.

Standing straight, if he’s going to be condemned to feel guilty, he must at least be guilty this time.

Striding fast, without giving himself time to think, Kylo reaches Rey’s room and turns the knob.

Rey, lying on her bed, face down, obviously crying, scrambles to sit up as she hears the door crashing open.

“If you didn’t want me barging in, you should have locked the door,” Kylo rasps as he takes off his one last remaining piece of clothing.

Rey watches, mesmerized, as the man’s broad shoulders taper to his torso then down to his…and legs. She can only swallow. Her voice disappears and her tears are forgotten. He is coming to her, totally naked. She can see all of him and she wets her lips with the tip of her tongue. She must find her voice but she knows she can’t, not when she can’t even breath properly.

Kylo leans down. His arms on her shoulders as he presses her down and covers her pliant body with his own on the bed. His mouth ravenous the moment it touches hers. She knows that if she pushes him away now, he will go, but even that she can’t. She’s as ravenous as him. This is the hunger she has felt before, the one that has made her lie awake that night.

Rey raises her both her arms to wrap them around Kylo, pulling him closer to her as she lays underneath him. Soon, she hears her clothes being torn from her body but she’s busy touching him, mapping the back of his head, his neck, his shoulders, the small of his back...lower. She’s doing it and he’s doing it and she gasps as she feels him sucking her breast, hungrily. She has never known how alive it feels to be touched this way.

“ _Please,’_ Rey moans, her voice hoarse. She senses something out of reach. Her body writhes and undulates, craving for something more. If she tries a bit harder she knows she can have it. Suddenly, she can feel his hands moving lower, his fingers cupping her between her legs. And the feeling becomes bearable but not by much.

“ _Do you want this?”_ Kylo asks, one of his fingers going inside her, ready to be retracted if she answers no.

“Yes,” Rey squeaks, finally finding her voice, scared that Kylo will change his mind with what they are doing. She’s burning up and she doesn’t think she can bear it if he stops. “Don’t stop.”

“ _Oh God,”_ he groans as he pulls out his finger and replaces it suddenly with a part of himself that is much thicker and longer.

The suddenness causes Rey to cry out in pain.

“ _What the—_ _”_ Kylo swears. Lifting his body by straightening his arms on the bed, on both sides of Rey’s head. He then remains rigid above Rey, staring at her as the meaning of her unusual tightness dawns on him. He doesn’t know if he can stop, even at the moment the tip of him is still inside her but he should stop…He knows he should stop but Rey whispers something.

“It isn’t so bad,” Rey whispers, clutching at him, pulling him closer. But Kylo maintains the short gap between their bodies, bracing his body on top of her, wanting to continue but knowing he should stop. In the end, Rey takes the decision from him as she raises her bottom, as if trying to see how much of him she can take deeper into her, slowly.

Kylo can only watch and feel. Then Rey wraps her legs around him, sinking him deeper inside her. It brings him lower, into her. Releasing his breath he doesn’t even realize has become stuck in his throat, he groans, “You feel so good, Rey.”

“I— _you do too.”_

Rey controls the pace until Kylo can’t take it anymore. With his hands, he grabs and clutches her behind, pulling her closer towards his pelvis. Kylo’s face then drops on the crook of Rey’s neck as he pushes harder and faster and faster. Amazingly, Rey meets his every push.

He swears he sees the light as he empties himself into Rey.

—oOo—

 

~2 10 18 AP P3 1 18~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Tilts head sidewards-...That is an M, isn’t it?... :P


	8. The Calm

Rey smiles to herself. Kylo lies on his side, his head is bent towards her in bed. Judging by his breathing, he’s still heavily asleep.

It’s still dark outside but the darkness makes his face soft with his eyes closed. It’s fortunate that she’s able to wake up before her alarm rings at 4 am and disturbs the man sleeping beside her.

Kylo looks a lot like his pictures in Luke’s living room. A younger, more relaxed version of himself. Kylo at that exact moment looks like Ben.

Rey’s hand reaches out about to tuck his hair behind his ear so she can see his face better. But then last night, she discovered he likes his ears covered. With a sigh, she has to glance at her big, open window to stop herself from caressing his face.

But the inclination to do something with her hands becomes stronger. She has to get up. She moves gingerly, removing the large arm thrown across her. She stands up, turns the side lamp on and reaches for her sketch pad, wanting to draw his image of last night before she gets ready to go.

At the back of her mind, Rey wonders if she should wake Kylo up. _What do people do in this_ _kind of situation_ _?_

Biting her lower lip, she decides— _it’s too early_ and she still feels...shy. But the smile on her lips and the twinkle in her eyes don’t diminish.

Kylo must believe her now about her and Luke. He’s going to grovel and ask her to forgive him. That’s something she’ll look forward to the next time she sees him.

And there’s something else…

Since she made a new start four months ago she has started taking the birth control pill. Her fear of becoming pregnant unplanned has made her decide to do it even when there was no particular guy she wanted to sleep with at the time.

Now, she’s glad she’s taken that step to protect herself and...Kylo.

She’s aware last night was spontaneous on his part. Proof, he didn’t even bring a condom. She should be angry that he did not think having a condom is important but then last night, she wasn’t thinking straight herself and he must be too. And that knowledge, that he can’t stop himself, she hugs to herself.

Kylo will be glad to know, she won’t get pregnant from last night.

Maybe she should wake him up to tell him that...it will ease his mind the way it eases her mind.

Rey quietly opens her bedside drawer and easily locates her pills. She’s going to have to show him, she has been taking it religiously as proof.

_As proof?_

No, she doesn’t have to show the blister pack that holds her pills. Kylo has to take her word for it that she’s protected. She will also tell him later. Telling him now, at this time in the morning, _won’t that make it sound like it’s a one night stand?...And it’s not that!_ Ben must know now she’s not that kind of girl.

And she can’t really talk right now...She has things to do and she has to leave the house soon or she’ll be late.

She puts back her pills and closes the drawer of her bedside table. She just leaves Kylo’s sketch on the table so he can see it once he wakes up.

—oOo—

Kylo wakes up alone on Rey’s bed.

As he remains lying down, he hits the bed with his closed fist. He’s stupid. He shouldn’t have followed her when she ran.

The status quo has changed.

She has the upper hand.

The sun is already high and the room is suffused with light unlike last night.

There are at least three oil on canvases, dry, on the floor and leaning on the wall. There’s another one, hidden in the corner on an easel, that’s far from finished. With the large open windows, the smell within the room is faint and anyway he’s so used to the smell that it never give him pause last night. His eyes sweeping the room, he finally notices the sketch of himself while he was on her bed. The sketch is left on the table on her side of the bed, obviously for him to see.

So Rey did paint him nude… _to prove that his allegations_ _are_ _wrong?_

_Was she gloating while she did it?_

He stands up and lifts the paintings from the floor, drawing them to his eye level. Seeing the details of the four canvases properly, his breath catches in his throat. Rey’s style is almost as good as that of his uncle.

Biting his lips in thought. That is, if the paintings are actually hers. They are all a bit too traditional. Doesn’t younger painters have more flair?

He finally picks up the sketch pad and gazes at his likeness on the paper. Rey is able to capture his vulnerable look and he feels too exposed. He couldn’t deny that the sketch of him is made by Rey. Nobody but her could have done it. Afterall, she alone saw, last night, how weak he was, how out of control. And she wants him to know that.

He is about to replace back the sketch on the table when something on the top drawer catches his attention. Dropping the sketch on the bed, he eases the drawer open. The drawer wasn’t properly closed because a small pack of medicine was wedge in it.

He reaches for the blister pack and reads the label. Judging by the number of pills missing, Rey has been taking it for quite sometime.

For the first time in his life, he has forgotten about protection.

Another stupid mark on his part. Because of Rey.

He must be glad that she’s taking the pill. But the only thing running in his mind is... _Why_ _take the pills_ _?_ She’s a virgin. Was a virgin.

She’s not anymore. He has taken her virginity away. But he has not force her for it...He knows and she knows that he would have stopped if she had said stop, if she had struggled. But she did nothing of those things. She has allowed last night to happen. _Why?_ What could she have gained by doing it?

—oOo—

"You look happy today," says Luke.

 _"Do I?"_ Rey prevaricates, smiling. "It's _'cause_ you're feeling much better and soon you may have your last surgery then we all can go home.”

"I've been feeling much better for the past few days but you don't look this happy."

" _Uhm_ maybe because I'm not that worried about you anymore."

"You're a lousy liar, Rey."

Fluffing the patient’s pillow, instead of looking at him, Rey mumbles, “I just have a new favorite subject to draw, that’s all.” _And he’s nude,_ Rey adds to herself, her grin widening. She should ask for his consent...but then she has drawn Ben from her memory of last night.

“Hmn. Okay.” Luke nods his head. “You’re going to show it to me soon.”

“Yes, course,” agrees Rey, crossing her index and middle finger at her back unseen by Luke.

"Ben visited me yesterday.” Luke changes the subject.

"That’s wonderful of him—” Rey blushes. She clears her throat and starts again, “ _I_ _mean_ he's not so bad."

 _"What happened to judgmental and arrogant?”_ Luke asks, raising a brow. “This change in opinion is it because... _Did he_ tell you that he will teach you?"

_"Teach me?"_

"I asked him to."

" _Oh_. Is he that good?"

Luke sighs. He sometimes forgets that Rey has not gone to a traditional school and probably hasn't heard about the miraculous redemption that is Kylo Ren in the art world. "He is."

"You might be only biased because he's your nephew," teases Rey.

"How's living with my nephew by the way?"

"It's a lot worse living with you. I see Ben not often enough. If that changes, I’ll probably start throwing more things at him. Well, I’ve started with the paintbrush and water—I mean _nothing."_

"You'll tell me if he does something he shouldn't, won't you?"

Rey blushes thinking about last night. "Of course."

"You better go home and ask my nephew to give you a lesson about modern styles of painting. That’s more his forte than mine."

" _You sure_ _I_ _can_ _go_ _?_ I can stay here and keep you company.”

"Go home."

For the first time, she just simply agrees. "Okay.”

—oOo—

Rey drives from the hospital to Luke's cottage, her foot on the accelerator. She wonders if Ben is waiting for her return. Generally, their routine mostly consists of they only see each other in the evening and not before that unless their visit in the hospital coincides. He keeps Luke’s company in the morning, her in the afternoon like an unspoken agreement. And during the last three days, except last night, she hasn’t seen him at all.

Of course, that changes now that they're sort of together.

She's bubbling with happiness. Glad that Luke has pushed her to leave early today.

—oOo—

 

~2 10, 3 1 18 AF P 3 8 18~

 


	9. then the Storm

Rey parks her car beside Ben’s car in the garage, bubbling with excitement knowing he’s home. She’s at least two hours too early compared to her usual time of getting home. Ben can be out but with his car parked there on his spot of the garage, he’s not.

She turns the knob into the cottage and it gives. It isn’t locked. He’s definitely home. _“Ben?”_ she calls out. No answer. She searches the cottage but she can’t find him.

_Where can he be?_

The garden at the back of the house? She hopes so...Beyond the garden, merging with it, reclaiming it is the woods. If Ben went into the woods, it’s better for her to wait for him to come back to the cottage because she won’t ever find him there no matter how hard she tries.

Feet bouncing, Rey strides into the garden filled with unchecked overgrowth of weeds and shrubs but still amongst them beautiful flowers bloom, although most of them are gone now. Surely enough, the uneven, treacherous garden path leads to him.

"Hi," greets Rey when she finally finds Ben.

It now becomes obvious that Ben paints in the afternoon. His own supplies scattered on the same foldable wooden table that she and Luke, use. A canvas on an easel in front of him. Rey can join him. "I'm ready for my first lesson," she says, her shyness this morning forgotten in the face of her excitement.

"You had your _first_ _lesson_ last night," Kylo replies without taking his eyes off the canvas, his hands continue with their sure strokes with the pencil outline.

Rey frowns. They didn't paint last night. They made love.. _._ _d_ _idn't_ _they_ _?_ Moistening her suddenly dry lips, she utters, "Luke said he asked you to teach me."

"And I did." Kylo sneers, finally raising his head to meet her questioning eyes. _"What is it?_ Luke has some scruples left that he doesn't want to teach you the first step himself?"

"I don't understand.” Mind reeling, Rey can only asks, “ _L_ _ast night was a lesson?"_

_"What do you think it was?"_ A part of Kylo is begging for him to stop talking but he has spent the entire morning drawing this picture in his head and his anger for being used is boundless. Rey probably already knows about the inheritance last night. Luke must have told her and she has decided that he, Kylo, would never let her have it. So _what was last night?_ Her trump card? Using her body to shut him up? To turn him into a putty in her hands? That’s the only explanation that makes sense to him.

"A mistake," Rey answers in a voice trembling with anger and disappointment. Just a few moments ago what happened last night between her and Ben has felt like the most right thing in her life. Now, she stares at the man who ruthlessly has shown her how young she is, how naive, how trusting. Despite already knowing what kind of man he is, she has convinced herself that there is good in him. There’s no more Ben left, only Kylo. "Lesson one is an eye opener," she spats.

"Yes, it is," growls Kylo.

"Now that I have my eyes open,” utters Rey, in a voice filled with disdain, “I can see a monster."

"Then remember that,” snaps Kylo, breathing hard. She must think that he’s so taken by her, grateful to her for receiving her virginity, that she assumes that he will keep his mouth shut— _No!_ He only has to tell Luke what she has given him last night and the old man will disinherit her so fast she’ll never know what happened. The balance of power has just shifted in his side, he can afford to be generous. Reeling in his anger, he orders, “Go get your stuffs. I'll see how good you are at painting."

"You must be insane if you think I'll accept more lessons from you."

"Lesson number two, Rey, teachers can be interchangeable. Luke is...” Kylo pauses meaningfully, “unable to perform at the moment. Just like last night, I'm willing to step in his shoes."

Rey, holding herself erect as she faces Kylo, feels herself stagger. She feels like she has been punched in the gut, she can’t even breath. It literally takes several moments for her to answer. "Can't you see when your opponent is defeated, Kylo? Why do you still continue to attack? Does it makes you happy?" Rey says, for a moment she allows her tears to fall. Then she furiously wipes the tears from her eyes and rubs her cheeks with the back of her hand before she turns around and leaves.

As Kylo hears her hurrying steps as she goes away from him, the pencil in his hand snaps into two. And by the time he can’t hear the trace of her presence anymore, he picks up his canvas resting on the easel and throws it, enraged, at the trunk of the nearby tree. The easel is also viciously lifted and he swipes it on the table crashing his paints to the ground. The force breaks the easel like toothpick. Then he roughly shoves at the foldable wooden table. Whatever supplies that still remain on the table join the ones on the ground—broken, scattered and with black and red paints smearing what once was green and thriving.

_Rey_ _hates him_. She told him that. She hates him.

How can Kylo ever forget that when she herself told him that to his face...So how can she allow last night to happen? What’s her ulterior motive? She must have one.

She says he’s a monster. For her, what happened between them is a mistake. She prefers Luke to him. She probably even got rid of her virginity for Luke because Luke still has some scruples left and won’t bed her if she’s still a freaking virgin.

She’s readying herself for Luke...Those pills, she’s been taking them before she even meet him.

Last night is part of her plans. He played right into it.

Breathing hard, Kylo grabs up the table, heaving, he throws it away. The wooden table crashes with a thud to join the others, destroyed and lying at the base of a nearby tree.

But still unsatisfied, Kylo approaches the mound of destruction he has created. Kicking at the table, he then picks it up, and after which he uses the table to furiously hit the tree trunk again and again. Sap oozes from the tree as barks fly off but Kylo doesn’t stop.

Images of last night flits in his mind. Rey wanted him...She was so eager for him.

Trying to erase the images of last night, Kylo pummels the tree trunk harder, his arms feeling the impact as the table collides ferociously with the wooden trunk.

_Today, before she runs off from him...for a short while, she has appeared so defeated...then she dashed her tears away, her toughness returning._

_Last night, if she has seen his vulnerability...today, has he seen hers?_

_No! She’s one tough cookie!...She hates him! Last night means nothing to her._

Kylo smashes the final piece of the wooden table on the tree, splinters flying everywhere.

He keeps seeing in his mind’s eye...Rey in anger, drenching him with water. Rey mouthing, _‘I hate you’_ like a weapon. Rey bringing flowers she had picked up from this ugly garden to the hospital for Luke. Rey crying and being worried about Luke. Rey ravenously kissing him. Rey moaning underneath him, begging him to take her. Rey wrapping her legs around him, never wanting to let go. Rey...saying last night was a mistake and he’s a monster.

With a tired breath, he lets go of his grasp on the fractured wood. He doesn’t know what to think.

His suspicions about Rey continue to swirl in his head and twist him deep inside and he can’t do anything to stop it.

Rey is wrong. He can’t ever see his opponent defeated because his opponent can’t ever be defeated...Because he himself, is his worst enemy. And he, himself, hates what he’s doing but he can’t help it. He thinks the worst of her because if he thinks the best of her... _where_ _will_ _that_ _leave him?_

—oOo—

 

~2 10 18AF P 3 14 18~

 


	10. Bend and Break

The next day, Rey gets ready at her usual time and is out the door by five am.

Kylo, unable to sleep, hears the ignition as she starts her car.

It’s not the first time he hears her leave at the _god awful_ time. He wonders where she regularly goes to this early. He gets up, hurries in getting in his car. She has several minutes head start. He might not find her or he might.

He does find her. He sees her old car parked along the highway in front of a diner in town.

Kylo gets out of the car and gets inside the diner. A familiar voice greets him, “Good morning,” before it is strangled to a stop. _"What ar_ _e_ _you do_ _i_ _ng here?"_ Rey asks.

"Breakfast," Kylo answers with the first word that comes to mind. The place being obviously a breakfast joint for people passing through the town if the number of cars outside is an indication. Plus the number plates are not from around here.

"I left you breakfast.” Rey hisses, _“_ _It_ _isn't poisoned."_

_She still cooked him breakfast even after what happened yesterday?_ She shouldn’t have. She’s just so...considerate...and good. And that makes him feel bad. Makes him feel like a stalker so he blurts out, "I just wanted to eat something else."

Rey realizes he doesn’t want her cooking for him. “Okay. That's one less chore for me."

_"But—"_ He doesn't mean to stop her from making breakfast for him. The meals are usually cold and unappealing by the time he eats them but they're still better than if he has prepared them himself. "Yes. Of course, do that." He doesn't want to agree but if she sees it as a chore she probably hates doing then she can just stop. He can cook his own meals.

Rey bends her head down and resumes work, wiping the table nearest the entrance of the diner. She is doing that when she feels obligated to greet the new customer who turns out to be Kylo, the last person she has expected to see.

Availing himself of the table she’s cleaning, looking around, Kylo observes the group of teenage boys that are sitting at another table eating burgers, and a family of three on another table, waiting for their orders. There are also two men sitting on the stools before the long counter. One of those probably drives the truck parked outside. The place is thriving. “You work here?” he asks.

"Yes."

Kylo knows she visits Luke in the afternoon. "Until noon?"

"Yes." Rey scrubs the side of the table that has a really sticky maple syrup poured on it accidentally.

_"Why?"_

"What do you mean why? I wasn’t born with a silver spoon like you," Rey retorts. The table is still a bit sticky but that’s the best she can do, she can’t stay and talk as if yesterday didn’t happened. “I can take your order. What do you want to eat?”

"You," Kylo answers. His thoughts aren’t on food and his subconscious addresses her question without filter. It may have sounded like it's a joke but at the moment, what he wants is to consume her.

Rey closes her eyes. The man has no respect for her. She opens her eyes and glares at him. _“You’ll get nothing then!”_

“No, I won’t get nothing.” Kylo doesn’t want her to have the last words in. “Give me a mouth watering...burger. Please.”

Rey gnashes her teeth and takes the order.

—oOo—

After a couple of minutes waiting, another waitress approaches Kylo’s table.

“Here sir, burger and coffee. We’ll put it on Mr. Skywalker’s tab.” The pretty girl extends a paper bag and coffee to go.

Kylo hasn’t asked for take out. Rey did. And of course, he knows why. For a second, he hesitates then he stands up to leave with his breakfast. But by the door, he hesitates once more. He glances at where Rey is, waiting for her to look in his direction to acknowledge him leaving. Ten seconds pass by, but she never does.

“I’m leaving, Rey,” Kylo calls out.

Rey lifts her eyes towards Kylo. “Visit the diner again,” she says.

The other customers hear her polite words but only Kylo sees her eyes.

Her beautiful eyes are filled with loathing. And despite her words, a warning not to come again at the diner.

—oOo—

 

~2 10 18 AF P 3 24 18~

 

 

 


	11. It pours when it rains

"Did you know that Rey works at the diner?" Kylo asks his uncle when he gets to the hospital. He arrives as soon as visitors are allowed to come in, earlier than his usual visiting time.

_"Of course."_

Kylo swallows. "Does she really has to work?"

"I couldn't very well ask her to stop working if that's what you’re asking."

"But she leaves really early. The roads aren't properly lighted and you know the road turns are sharp and steep. And in her work, there can be crude teenage boys and foul mouthed truck drivers that can harass her.”

"Well, being on the first shift is better than being on the last shift."

 _"_ _Jesus!_ You allowed her to work at night before?"

Luke answers with a raised brow. “I’m not her guardian. It isn’t my place to allow or not to allow her.”

Kylo swallows again. _It’s not his uncle’s place to dictate to Rey?_ “What time is the last shift?”

“Nine pm to five am.”

“ _Shit!_ She’s staying at your house, you have a say in what she does. You could have stopped her before she even did that. It could have been dangerous. That’s the time robbers and what other _motherfucking assholes_ come out,” Kylo rages.

Luke’s frown deepens. He doesn’t comprehend Ben’s concern. Rey is now working in the morning shift. "Look, she said she couldn't waste the light. I already put my foot down and said that if she wants her lessons, I want her well rested."

Luke is watching him, obviously puzzled. Controlling his anger, Kylo utters, changing the topic, "I saw four of her paintings: a profusion of wild flowers and a place I don’t recognize; your overgrown garden at the back of the cottage; and the latest, depicts the side of the mountain viewed from her bedroom window.”

"So she hasn't painted anything new?"

"She has me sketched."

Even as a child, Ben is too impatient to sit still. _"You sat for her?_ " Luke questions, surprised.

"No. She did it without my knowledge.”

"I hope you didn’t give the girl a hard time about that." Luke pauses. "Well, she did appear really happy yesterday, so your first lesson must have proceeded better that I expected.”

 _"She's happy?"_ Yesterday, after their night together and before their biggest fight, Rey visited Luke and _she_ _was happy?_

"Yes, not her usual _I’_ _m cheerful because_ _I_ _have to be_ but _happy_ because she is happy.”

"Did she tell you why?" Kylo’s heart races. Did he really made her happy? _Him?_ Before that fiasco in the afternoon where he crudely told her she could interchanged him and Luke.

"She did say, it was because she wasn't as worried for me as before but I don't believe her."

Kylo comes down from a high. How stupid of him to even think for a moment that he has made her happy with their night together. Only someone she cares about has the ability to do that. His uncle can do that. Because she genuinely cares about Luke, that becomes more and more obvious. "You should believe her. I talked to your chief doctor. If you can have your surgery tomorrow, he said you can come home at the end of the week. Rey is really happy for you.”

“That girl is really something. I’ve seen that raw kind of talent once before. It didn’t excite me enough then. It does now.” Luke looks meaningfully at him. “So what do you think?”

“Why do you call her, _that girl?”_

“I call her kid too. That one she took offense.” Luke laughs. “Told me she’s old enough to take care of herself.”

Finally, it dawns to Kylo. His uncle views Rey, not as a woman but as a...child.

“I saw her brilliance so I took her in as my student. In exchange, she deals with the people I don’t want to deal with and does the cleaning and cooking. Unlike the time when my only nephew stayed with me that I had to literary push his butt to get things done everyday. This, now, is a better set up than that. The only thing that annoys me is when the town’s people gossip. I don’t care what they’re saying but what they’re saying might hurt Rey.” Luke sighs. “Those stupid people should know better. I only see Rey as the daughter I never have. She could have been your cousin.”

“ _I can never imagine_ _Rey_ _as my cousin!”_ snaps Kylo, still reeling from his realization that he’s one of those stupid people...And his uncle doesn’t even suspect. Rey has never told Luke about the things he accused her of.

“Relax. She’s almost twenty, no point adopting her legally.”

“So she’s an orphan. You feel sorry for her. You already willed her your worldly possessions. And _God knows_ what else you’ve done for her!” Kylo suddenly shouts, “But I draw the line of you giving her your name! _I don’t want to be related to her!”_

“ _Is that outburst because of the will_? Aren’t you ever going to ask me directly about the will? Why I did it? Why I even made sure you know of it by asking you to witness.” Luke’s shoulders tense but when no immediate answer comes from his nephew, his shoulders sag as if in defeat. “With your temper, you didn’t even argue...”

“ _So you acknowledged that the house should be mine!”_

“Do you even want it?”

“Of course, I do. I had wonderful memories in that cottage.”

“But it’s also connected to a painful memory.” Luke has a faraway look. “...And to my shame.”

“I don’t care about that anymore.”

“I do.”

“So you’re giving your beautiful home and your lifetime’s work to a nobody. _Isn’t that what Rey is to you?”_ growls Kylo, accusingly, “You’re punishing me again because you can’t face your own fault!”

“ _No_ —I’m not punishing you.” Luke answers back, more calmly, “I know it was my fault, Ben.”

“ _Ben, y_ _ou kn_ _e_ _w_ they would put me in jail for driving under the influence of alcohol and causing an accident. That night your parents knew, you stayed sober so you could drive us home but they didn’t realize just how bullheaded I could be. I wouldn’t allow you to drive for me but I allowed you to protect me.” Luke’s shoulders tremble as tears glisten from his eyes.Suddenly, the veneer of polite acquaintance of the past weeks is gone. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t visit you at the hospital because I would see you, Leia, Han...all the people I let down.”

“ _You c_ ouldn’t go to jail! Not even for a day! Your name would be ruined!”

“Sometimes, I think that would have been better,” Luke contradicts. “If I did, I might have been able to forgive myself.”

“Give me the house then consider yourself forgiven!”

Luke rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands and straightens his shoulders. “I’m not dying yet.”

“No. You’re not.” Kylo agrees, a weight lifting from his shoulders. “And I’m leaving this afternoon.”

“That seems to be abrupt."

The weight on Kylo’s shoulders must have lifted but something has replaced it and settled in his gut. "No, it isn’t. I just didn't tell you before that I’m now needed at work." Kylo suspects that his uncle knows he’s lying but he doesn’t care. He must leave soon.

"What about Rey's lesson?" Luke asks. He thought that should give his nephew something to do to fill the time.

 _"What about it?_ She's your student, not mine.”

“Yes, but I’m not well enough yet to teach her.”

“Then send her away if you can’t fulfill your end of the bargain,” counters Kylo. “Stop pitying her. _S_ _he’s misconstruing it!”_

“Misconstruing what?”

“She likes you,” Kylo says the words he detested.

He doesn’t want Rey to have the cottage. If she does, she’ll be indebted and in love with Luke forever. Because that’s the type of person she is. Generosity, kindness from others, she pays back with love and gratitude, and he can’t never have that. “For her own good, send her away or I’ll... _I’ll destroy her,”_ Kylo adds.

“ _I see_. I shouldn’t be worried about robbers and assholes getting to her but you, I should be.” Luke’s gaze turns sharp on Kylo. “If you’re this resentful that I have a new student then you’re right, it’s time for you— _not Rey_ —to leave.”

As soon as Kylo’s threatening words are out, he knows the words are a mistake. His uncle is really angry at him. And he doesn’t even mean it—his threat is just wishful thinking. He can never destroy Rey. But she’s destroying him. And he can’t even explain it to his uncle for he can’t explain it even to himself. “Yes, I’ll go.”

Luke nods his head.

Various thoughts that Kylo has held at bay so far are now flooding his consciousness as his control on them is totally smashed. All those thoughts swirling in his head is making his chest tight. It’s becoming difficult to breathe.

“Are you okay?” Luke asks.

Kylo draws in a shaky breath and releases it slowly, willing his breathing to normalize.

After a moment, Kylo finally speaks again, “Rey is talented. She can do it better without the destructive feedback from me.”

"Yes." Luke agrees. He wanted to pass the task to his nephew because he doesn't want Rey to leave because he can’t teach her. But he can see now the folly of asking Ben for Ben still hasn’t accepted Rey as his student. It’s his fault for swearing not to teach another one. "Thank you for the past weeks, visiting me, keeping me company."

"I did it for my mom,” Kylo answers.

"I know." Luke clears his throat. "I already told Leia a week ago on the phone that I was driving that night. She said she suspected it because of my behavior but you never said anything." Luke hesitates. "Why didn’t you?"

"If you went to jail that would hurt mom more than it would hurt you,” Kylo admits. “But the main reason was... I didn’t want mom to hate you the way I did. I wanted to be the only one who could hate you like that."

“Having your hate was my penance.”

"Yes," Kylo utters. "I hate you more now by the way. You still possess the special thing that I want for myself."

Luke only laughs. "Talent runs in our family. I have it. You also have it. Your painting isn't bad. But mine is still better."

Kylo nods his head even when he doesn’t mean that.

Painting, his uncle thinks painting is everything to him. Maybe then but now...No, he doesn’t mean painting, he means Rey. Luke isn’t even aware of what he has. Luke has Rey— _t_ _he_ _girl_ who cried worriedly when he was still in the ICU, the girl who brought him flowers daily to brighten his room in the hospital and now, the woman who smiles happily despite everything that Kylo has done to her, all because she knows Luke is going to be fine.

Rey—the same woman who hates him and thinks him a monster...And she’s right, he is a monster. Kylo has proven it over and over to her.

Finally, Kylo understands what his uncle had felt that night ten years ago and what drove those decisions that Luke had made then.

Shame. Self hate. Love. Unworthiness. Pain.

This time, it’s his turn. He has Rey’s hate as his punishment.

—oOo—

 

~2 10 18 AF P 3 26 18~

 


	12. After the rain, there's no rainbow

After his conversation with his uncle in the hospital, Kylo arrives back at the cottage by the mountain before noon, long before Rey will arrive home. He hurriedly packs his shirts and belongings and flees, leaving nothing behind.

He drives his car faster and faster, trying to outrun his thoughts.

He doesn’t notice the squirrel that crosses the road until too late. He is running over 70mph on a winding, downhill road when suddenly something dashes in front of his car. It is just a stupid squirrel who chooses that moment to cross the _god damn_ road, just a squirrel but his fast reflexes still make him turn the steering wheel to the side and his car crashes to a tree.

Kylo will come out of this worse than ten years ago.

—oOo—

The next day, on the day of Luke’s last surgery...when Kylo doesn’t show himself at the hospital, Rey becomes more and more angry as it becomes more obvious with the ticking of her watch that Kylo isn’t coming to wait with her outside the operating room. She tells herself her anger is in behalf of Luke.

Kylo should be there with her waiting for Luke to come out of the operation. But when she remembers what happened to Kylo’s arm ten years ago and his admission that Luke never visited him in the hospital, she grits her teeth and decides that it’s Kylo’s unsubtle way of doing the same thing. And she hates him for it.

That night, Rey goes to bed early. She doesn’t bother waiting for Kylo to arrive home. What’s the point of asking where he went? What’s the point of hurling recriminations? Luke’s surgery went well, Kylo must have called the hospital and was informed that.

The next day, when she goes to work, not seeing his car in the garage has meant...the blonde woman has given him a ride home again last night. She definitely won’t seek him out only to find that out. The snake can sleep with whoever he wants, wherever he wants.

For another three days, Rey has not seen nor heard Kylo. But she never suspected...

Rey has no idea Kylo already left. She only knows he doesn’t want to see her and she doesn’t want to see him.

Kylo has been gone for four days before she finds out when Luke asks her to drive him home from the hospital. The journey home is spent with Luke resting his eyes. That is fortunate for Rey who is still in disbelief that someone can just leave her like that. She probably can’t carry a conversation with Luke without losing her temper over his nephew.

_Is she a total nobody to Kylo?_ He mentioned he was leaving to his uncle but not to her. Not even a simple note propped on the dining table to spell his intentions. In the past four days, she has swept and cleaned the cottage, she was sure there were no notes left behind.

Her disquiet if noticed by Luke isn’t remarked upon.

That night, only she and Luke celebrate the event of his hospital release with a saltless, tasteless dinner.

Rey hopes Kylo is choking on his own albeit delicious dinner, somewhere.

But most of all, she hopes he regrets not saying goodbye.

—oOo—

 

~2 10, 4 1 18AF P 4 8 18~

  


  



	13. Red: the blood of an angry man

The car heads straight to the tree but then something Kylo should have expected, happens. The airbag deploys and cushions him as he is thrown forward while his seat belt pulls him back on his seat.

Ten years ago, his uncle’s big car which was an old model didn’t have an airbag and even if it did, he injured his hand on the side but this time, it’s different. He has a head on collision with a tree. The airbag saves him and the fact that he is able to decelerate enough.

Kylo remains seated and shaken behind the wheel. For a split second, as he felt the jolt of the car hitting the tree, he really thought he will die and now, he wonders if it is fortunate that he is saved. He decides that it is.

Rey may not think so though. She probably wishes him dead.

He’s glad that he’s alive but it doesn’t mean he can go to the hospital and risks seeing Rey. She’s there by now, hovering over his uncle. He can’t imagine her hovering over him.

Damn it, he’s okay. A bit— _a lot_ shaken that’s all. He tastes his blood in his mouth where his incisors cut his lips on impact. He feels bruised all over and slightly dizzy. But he can bear to wait until he reaches his place in Canto Bight to see the doctor. In the meantime, he’s aware he shouldn’t drive to get there.

Reaching for his mobile phone, he dials for his troop. Someone can pick him up.

His troop then contacts someone from town to drive him to Canto Bight. His wait only lasts about several minutes.

As the car approaches, Kylo recognizes the boy behind the wheel. _God damn it_ , it’s Andy, Rey’s friend.

—oOo—

In the car ride home to Canto Bight, Andy at first is giving Kylo Ren sidelong glances. And then his curiosity wins out over his fear. The boy asks him why he is leaving when Luke is still in the hospital. Kylo doesn’t reply.

Kylo just looks on straight ahead. First, he has an accident and probably a concussion. Now, his head hurts and then Rey’s friend is acting as if that friendship extends to him.

“Your uncle couldn’t visit you even if he wanted to, you know,” says Andy.

Kylo finally turns his head to glance at Andy.Just that morning, his uncle said the same thing: _‘_ _Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t visit you at the hospital because I would see you, Leia, Han...all the people I let down.’_

Kylo heard what his uncle had said but he didn’t notice what was said. He wanted to leave, to walk away from his mistakes…that he didn’t notice he was committing another mistake. He should have asked his uncle what he meant. Let him explain more about his side of the story.

“Luke had his first heart attack that night you were injured, you know,” Andy revealed. “My father found him on the side of the road when he went to tow the damaged car.”

Kylo snarls, _“_ _You’re making that up!_ Mom and dad didn’t saw him—”

“Yeah, the road was poorly lit even then and they weren’t looking for a person hunched over but a car,” Andy replies defensively. “Luke’s great. He told dad he didn’t want his family to know because his nephew needed the family around him more than he did.”

—oOo—

In Canto Bight, the hospital checks Kylo’s injuries and he is cleared to get home grudgingly. He is prescribed with pain medications and is advised to take things slow.

But as soon asKylo arrives back in his home, in his real world, away from the cottage by the mountain, away from anyone’s condemning eyes...he rages. He thrashes his living room, pushing his TV off the table, picking up his player and hurling it on the wall, smashing the glass top of the center table, just destroying everything in the room.

Then he sits down on the couch surveying the destruction before him.

The destruction...he has caused it. And he can pay money and have it fixed.

But he knows he destroyed something in Ahchto..something precious that he can never, ever fix.

Furthermore, once his uncle learns what he did to Rey...he’ll never be forgiven.

—oOo—

Kylo calls the Ahchto hospital daily, getting reports from nurse Mitaka of how his uncle is doing on the day of the surgery and onward.

He doesn’t speak to his uncle though. Not yet. His shame is such that he knows he can’t.

For ten years he had harbored a resentment. And that resentment had blinded him on what he was doing to Rey.

He’s letting go of his resentment now. He has forgiven his uncle.

He wants to be Ben again. And the first thing he must do is talk to his uncle. So on the fourth day, on the day his uncle is due to go home from the hospital to his cottage by the mountain, he asks nurse Mitaka if he can speak to his uncle.

The phone is given to Luke.

“I know everything now, uncle Luke,” Kylo admits, “And I understand the guilt you felt at the time.” It’s the same guilt he carries around, the same one that prevents him from going back to that cottage to see Luke and...most especially Rey.

“ _Everything?_ ”

“I told mom and dad too. I told them I’ll talk to you first though.”

“I see. And now they’re planning to visit?” Luke says with a grunt.

“Probably.”

“I’m going home,” Luke mentions. “Can you give me a lift?”

Kylo shakes his head even if his uncle can’t see it. “No. I can’t.”

“ _Why not?”_

“Rey...”

“What about Rey?” Luke asks.

“Ask her to give you a ride home.”

“So you did leave.”

“Did you ever doubt that I would?”

“Rey didn’t mention that you already left. Although come to think of it, she doesn’t mention you at all.” Luke continues with a reproachful tone, “I thought you were just staying away from the hospital...sulking since you thought wrongly that I choose Rey over you.”

_She doesn't mention him at all_...Luke still doesn't know his sins. Rey must be bottling everything inside her. “Rey...” Kylo pauses. “How is she?”

“She’ll be arriving any minute now. You can talk to her. Find out how she is.”

“I have a meeting in a minute. I just called to tell you to take care of yourself. Bye. I’ll try to call again.” And with that, Kylo abruptly switches off his phone, his heart pounding. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready to talk to Rey.

There are times for the past few days that the only thing that keeps him sane is the memory of having her in his arms. But even that is marred in his memory.

One day soon maybe he can listen to her voice on the phone. Maybe he can pretend to be composed on the line. He will never burden Rey. He will never ever plead to her for something he knows she can never give—her love.

It’s weird that he can’t see blood pouring from his veins because the pain is tearing up his flesh. It hurts just to breathe, it hurts just to think, it hurts everyday to convince himself that everything will be fine.

_He fucked up so big_...that being sorry doesn’t mean anything.

It won’t mean anything to Rey.

And everyday that thought kills him. And everyday he tries to live so that Rey can have her revenge on him even if Rey doesn’t even know she’s doing that.

Kylo just can’t be Ben again. The mistakes he made are just too great.

—oOo—

 

~4 10,11 18 AF P 4 14 18~

 

 

 


	14. Violet and Indigo are Blue

Leia and Han won’t be coming anytime soon to visit, Luke is adamant on that request. He doesn’t want to be seen as an invalid. As a compromise, Leia gets him a nurse. A nurse that makes sure he takes all his medications in time. He doesn’t really need one but his family asks that in exchange for not visiting just yet.

Luke agrees when he learns that the nurse will be Amilyn Holdo. But mostly because Rey is starting to hover over him, watching his diet and making sure he gets lots of naps. Atleast Holdo doesn’t hover and she definitely doesn’t treat her patients as invalids. She’s probably just gonna be a spy for his sister.

Kylo has also called the cottage after several days.

—oOo—

Rey has finally spoken to Kylo. And even when the snake is separated by three hours of car travel, he still has a lot of say regarding the matter of Luke’s health.

Rey is ordered not to pester Luke to teach her to paint.

Furthermore, according to Kylo, Rey is not a paid ‘help’ and can’t be relied upon to look after his uncle.

Basically, she can stay, but no more leaving at five am to work because it may disturb Luke’s sleep. Rey has argued with Kylo over the telephone that Luke is awake by then, but then she is surprised he relents immediately, not having any real argument against it.

Rey glares at the phone after that call. She has gotten her way regarding her jobs but only because she feels Kylo wants their conversation to be short. He doesn’t want to talk to her. She doesn’t want to talk to him either.

Basically, Rey feels like an unwanted boarder. Luke reassures her that it’s fine for her to stay. And maybe in a week or so they can resume their lessons.

Rey isn’t as enthusiastic to resume her lessons as before. And she can’t leave just when Luke is still gaining his strength and his nephew sort of abandoned him to a nurse.

Although the nurse—Amilyn Holdo is terrific. Rey has reported so to Kylo and Kylo said, “ _O_ _f course.”_ Ms. Holdo is his mom’s friend and his nurse of before. Learning this, Rey feels all the more superfluous.

There’s really no need for her to stay...but she doesn’t want to leave. If she does leave, her last link to the place will be broken.

It’s always Kylo who calls first. He usually talks to his uncle or to Nurse Holdo. The times Rey’s able to talk to him, he’s always trying to dictate the things she can or can’t do. He’s direct to the point and doesn’t stick on the phone to chat.

Although, during the last time they talk on the phone, she doesn’t know how he can tell but... he asks her if there’s something wrong. If she has answered him that she feels unneeded...he will just tell her it’s because she is. Of course, she has to deny that anything is wrong. Then, he asks her a stupid question and then she lies because he makes it seems like his decision to come back will depend on her answer when it’s obvious he’s just taunting her.

She wants to thump him in the head and shout at him but she can’t do that on the phone. The only thing she can do is listen to his voice. He’s annoying with his _‘_ _I want you to do this_ _’_ , _‘don’t do that’_ but when he’s done saying what he has to say he abruptly cuts their conversation off. She wants to call him back again if only to listen to his voice.

Rey’s wrong about Ben— _correction_ _Kylo_ —not caring about his uncle. Kylo does care, he just shows it in his weird, antagonizing way.

Sometimes, Rey feels that he’s avoiding her but then Luke will be passing her the phone. Sometimes, she feels like Kylo knowingly acts hateful towards her so she won’t ever think that he’s sorry. So she’s mean to him too on the phone, calling him names, calling him a monster or a snake.

Nurse Amilyn Holdo is a fountain of information. The older woman who dyed her hair purple has known the Skywalkers for a very long time. Amilyn was around when Ben was called little. She said that Ben was a bit neglected when he was younger. His meals and other needs were taken cared by various child minders while his parents expanded the business empire. That only changed when he was fifteen when his uncle finally asked him to stay at his place.

The Skywalker-Solo empire is huge. Kylo doesn’t even need to paint or to work but he does both. He’s his mother’s right hand man and it’s a given that he will inherit the empire from her someday.

According to Amilyn, Ben was a sensitive kid and his tantrums were legendary. But after his accident he seemed to realized that people could only help him paint again if he himself pulled himself through from the depression he suffered.

That was the time he got closer to his parents.

His parents are really proud of him. Of what he’s accomplished with his paintings.

—oOo—

There is a time that Rey borrows Andy’s computer. She tries to search the net for _Ben_ _Skywalker-_ _Solo,_ but there’s not much about him, except he’s the only heir to the Skywalker-Solo empire. No pictures of him are also posted.

She tries _Kylo Ren._ _T_ _here i_ _t is_ —his works, his struggles and how he wears a stupid mask when he attends his own exhibitions. Obviously, the artist is quirky and the art world allows him to do it.

His paintings are sold at a staggering price.

She looks at the pictures of Kylo’s paintings. They are a lot different from Luke’s more traditional ones...but they are beautiful. They sort of speak of pain and triumph. The force behind the pictures are the complexity of feelings it generated. Not light or dark but a muddle of both.

His style is unique.

Kylo once told her that Luke never visited him at the hospital...and she had it from Luke that it was the truth. Luke only confided to her because she had learn bits and pieces from Andy who swore her to secrecy. Only a few people know that Luke couldn’t visit Ben because he suffered his first heart attack quite a distance from the car when he went to look for help. Andy’s father was on his way to tow the car under Leia’s order when he found the unusual lump on the side of road. Anyone could have missed it but Andy’s father knew the road like the back of his hand and noticed Luke.

Andy’s father brought Luke to the hospital but by then Ben and his parents were gone, airlifted to another hospital. Luke asked Andy’s father not to alert his family. Ben needed Leia and Han more than ever then.

The car was towed, fixed and the accident was never reported to the police because Leia—for the first time in her life choose her family over what she knew was proper...and it was one more thing that Luke admitted pained him greatly. Luke knew Leia thought she was protecting her son when all along, it was him she was protecting. He had a drink and drove the car.

When Ben asked for Luke’s help with his rehabilitation to regain the full capacity of his hand, Luke had heard news from Leia on how hard and painful it was for Ben. Luke didn’t want to be there when Ben finally gives up and faces the fact that he could never paint the same again. But Ben never gave up.

Instead Ben became Kylo Ren and he made a name for himself outside the shadows of his uncle.

Rey finally understands Kylo’s pain. Luke, the man he trusted more than his parents had let him down...How can he trust her, a mere stranger, after that?

Maybe if she tells Kylo the truth about what happened to Luke that night...maybe he will learn to trust in people again. Then Andy finally confesses to her that he had told the truth to Kylo before he left Ahchto. Rey realizes that the truth has not stopped Kylo from leaving. What Andy had said to him hasn’t made a difference, even his minor accident hasn’t made a difference. Kylo was in a rush to leave Ahchto and nothing had stood in his way to stop him from leaving.

Luke shouldn’t have done it. Luke shouldn’t have asked Kylo to teach her, a person he distrust. But Luke didn’t see that it would be like pouring salt to Ben’s old wound. If Kylo ever acknowledges that she is an artist like himself then he will have to acknowledge too the fact that his uncle choose to help her when he chose not to help him.

Rey rubs at her chest. That night, she still remembers, Kylo had held her as if he couldn’t believe she wanted to be in his arms. She had shown him that she does. She had shown him that she wanted to be with him. Furthermore, she had shown him how she saw him in her sketch of him. Despite the toughness, the callousness he displayed for the others to see, deep inside he is vulnerable...But that drawing was torn from her sketch pad. Kylo must have removed it, crumpled it and thrown it away.

In the end, what she has given him hasn’t convinced Kylo to change his mind about her.

When Kylo finally learns some truth from Andy about Luke’s reason for not being there for him, he still left...without apologizing, without saying goodbye to her. She was treated like she was nothing. Because there’s really nothing there that can ever change his mind about her. He thinks she’s the kind that gives herself lightly for a price. If he has gotten to know her at all, he should know she isn’t like that.

Sometimes, she imagines what if Kylo recognizes her talent and genuinely asks her if he can teach her. She’ll probably say no for their styles will clash...So it’s better this way, their paths going on separate ways. Him, far, far away. While she’s here...feeling like she’s still waiting for something she doesn’t know.

What if it has come already and she has not noticed it?

That night, as most nights, as she tries to sleep, loneliness swamps her.

Luke is just in the other room and Nurse Amilyn in the room she has vacated. Rey now sleeps on the sofa in the studio. Her things and paintings neatly arranged in a corner. If Kylo has stayed, he would have no place to sleep in the house unless she leaves.

Yes, Kylo did not even say goodbye before he went away. Yes, she can’t help but feel like she was abandoned. Like despite everything they had shared, she still doesn’t matter, like she is still nothing to him.

But she doesn’t understand it. The man is a monster. It shouldn’t hurt this much but it does.

Her tears dampen her pillow. She feels lonely and afraid of what do to next.

—oOo—

  
~2 2018 AF P 4 23 18~


	15. Waiting for the green light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast update to thank the people who always gave comments/reviews...

Ben works in the morning and he sketches in the evening. That is his routine, go to work, go home, draw, go to work, go home, draw. Then days later, he reaches for the phone on his office desk, hoping that his uncle will pick up his call and wishing that it will be Rey who will.

Nurse Holdo answers the phone in the living room. “Hello.”

“Ami, it’s Ben.”

“Hi Ben. You want to talk to your uncle.”

For a moment, Ben hesitates. “Yes.”

Nurse Holdo must have put the receiver on the table sideways because suddenly Ben can hear _her_ voice. It’s just faint but he can hear Rey. It’s just ten days ago when he last saw her but it feels like he has traveled a lifetime since then.

“Who’s that?” Rey is asking.

“Ben,” Amilyn answers, “He calls himself Ben.”

“ _Ben?”_

“Why don’t you talk to him while I’ll go get Luke?”

Ben, his heart hammering, his palms sweating, tightens his hold on the receiver, mumbling, “Please, please, please,” under his breath.

Rey’s voice suddenly sounds louder and clearer. “Kylo?”

It doesn’t matter what Rey calls him but… “Yes, it’s Kylo,” he retorts. Even when Ami tells her he calls himself Ben, Rey will always see him now as Kylo. The days that Rey still calls him Ben are gone and he can never bring those back...and it’s pointless to even try. “I hope you don’t pester Luke to teach you.”

Rey’s indrawn breath hisses over the line. “No, I don’t. Contrary to what you believe in, I—”

“Just put Luke on,” Kylo interrupts. “If he’s resting or something, I’ll just call later.”

Rey slams the receiver back on the table.

After a while, Luke’s voice comes through. “Rey seems to be angry about something. Did you say something?”

“I just acted the way she expected,” Kylo snaps, takes a calming breath and starts again, “How are you, uncle?”

“I’m fine. You already know that. Why did you call?” Luke asks.

“I can always call again after ten years if you want.”

Luke chuckles. “No need to wait that long. It’s so good to hear from you.”

Kylo nods his head. Yeah, he knows the feeling. It’s so good to hear Rey’s voice even when he isn’t ready to do so. Hopefully soon he can listen to her voice and it won’t fuck him up.

Like a clumsy child he fucks up again...

But he can’t help it. In that moment, Kylo has to cut their conversation short because he wants Rey to call him Ben again and he just realizes how absurd that is. He has a lot of things he wants to say to her but he has to stop himself because...because he still expects things from her he doesn’t have a right to. Hearing her voice has drove in the fact that he has indeed forfeited his chance and no matter how much he regrets things, he can’t undo them. He can’t never make things right again. He has to accept that so it will be easier on him.

—oOo—

That day, Kylo dials the phone several times, only to stop one number short and returns the phone back to its cradle.

It’s after three days that he calls again. This time Luke picks up.

“Mom is complaining why she can’t visit you,” Kylo says to cover his dismay.

“I told her I want to look good when she sees me. And she respects my wishes.”

“Doesn’t stop her calling me to complain though,” admits Kylo. “Last time I saw you, you don’t look so bad. Just a bit too lean and that beard is awful.”

Luke laughs.

“Is Rey there?” Kylo asks.

“She’s still working,” Luke replies.

Kylo checks his watch. It’s two in the afternoon, he's already aware of that. “Her shift in the diner should be done by now.”

“She’s working too at the gas station these days.”

“I see.” Yes, Kylo does see what’s in the gas station—Andy.

“She told me, car engines sort of fascinates her,” Luke explains.

No, it’s because Andy fascinates her. Andy is also close to her age. And best of all, Andy is a good man. _Fuck._

—oOo—

A week passes by, still Kylo hasn’t called. He just continues sketching. He hasn’t done portrait in years and so far, he is always unsatisfied with what he’s drawn that he always ends up tearing the piece of paper after. But today, he thinks he gets it right.

Rey is on the paper, tastefully naked, smiling back at him.

He takes Rey’s sketch of him from the wall and put the two drawings side by side.

When he fled Ahchto, he did not leave anything behind that would remind Rey of him. So he took her sketch and for days, he has tried to copy the style in which she had drawn him as he draws her so that now the two sketches look like a part of one picture.

Kylo smiles. Now, he has something tangible that will remind him of that night, not just a memory. The sketches look good. He’ll have them framed together and he’ll put it on his bedroom wall. He can see it every time.

_...God, he’s so pathetic._

Rey’s face becomes blurry and then a drop of liquid falls down on it.

Kylo has to draw another one again because he ruins this one.

—oOo—

Midnight, Kylo calls. The phone in the living room just rings and rings.

—oOo—

“I called last night,” Kylo says to the phone as soon as he hears it being lifted from its cradle. He doesn’t care who answers as long as it gets answered.

“We turn the volume low so as not to disturb Luke,” Rey answers. “He takes naps even in the afternoon.”

“ _Rey!”_ Kylo exclaims. He isn’t expecting her to answer. And now he feels better.

“Yes, it’s me,” Rey mutters, “I’ll go get your uncle. If you called last night, it must be urgent.”

“ _Wait!_ I need to speak to you.”

“Okay. I’m listening.”

“I need to speak to you because I...” Kylo swallows. _I wanted to apologize. To tell you how much your opinion of me matters. To tell you that I think you’re_ _precious._ _To tell you that I’m in pain._ “...because I heard from uncle Luke that you have two jobs now. I want you to do this—I want you to quit.”

“ _No.”_

“We got a nurse because it’s not your job to look after uncle Luke but that doesn’t mean you should go out and get another job. It just means you’re not the hired help. So now you have two jobs and on top of that you still take care of uncle Luke’s meals and cleans his house, don’t you?”

“My first work starts at 5 am. I can do the second one with time to spare. I’m not complaining.”

“You’re missing the point.” _I want to take care of you._ “The point is you’re probably waking up uncle Luke, moving about too early in the morning. You said yourself the phone’s volume is turned low so he can sleep peacefully.”

“You want me to quit the diner? I won’t do that.”

“I want you to quit both your jobs!” _I want you to paint, damn it! E_ _ven if Luke is not currently actively giving you pointers, you can still do that. I was able to do that then, you can too now!_ Kylo wants to shout all those things to Rey but he holds his tongue. He knows he an Rey have different circumstances and he can’t dictate to her about her painting.

“I’m not disturbing Luke. He’s awake by then,” snaps Rey. “You don’t want me to look after Luke. You don’t want me to work. _What do you want me to do?...Leave?”_

_No!_ “Yes,” Kylo replies quietly.

“I’m not leaving just because you say so. I’ll leave when _I decide_ it’s time to leave, you hear.”

Kylo’s guess is correct. If he asks her _to_ _stay,_ she would leave. “Suit yourself.”

“I will,” huffs Rey.

“I’ve got to go.”

“ _Wait!_ Aren’t you gonna talk to Luke?”

“Next time,” Kylo says and returns the phone back to its cradle.

—oOo—

“Ami says you’re doing better,” Kylo remarks. He just finished talking to the older woman. He also learns from her that Rey is working a little too hard.

“I know she’s your mom’s spy,” Luke replies. “Okay, fine tell your mom, maybe she can visit me soon. Having Amilyn here made me realize I’m not sacrificing my independence with more people staying.”

“I’m surprised mom hasn’t visited you yet despite your protestations.”

“I’m not. Leia’s a good negotiator. And she sticks to the agreement.”

“Yes, she does.”

“Tell your mom and dad to come visit. You can come too with them.”

“Okay, I’ll tell them but,” Kylo hesitates, “I can’t come with them.”

“ _Why not?”_

“Work.”

“Here’s Rey, maybe she can convince you.”

Kylo clutches the phone. “No, uncle don’t give her the phone!”

But Kylo realizes that Luke hasn’t heard him as he hears Rey saying to the mouthpiece, “Who’s this?”

_It’s_ _Ben._ “Kylo.”

“Oh.”

Kylo can hear Luke’s voice in the background, explaining to Rey that he was using work not to visit them.

“Your uncle’s right, come to visit us. We would love to have you here,” Rey utters.

Kylo hears the sarcasm in her voice. “There’s no need for me to go there. Uncle has everything he needs.”

“Yes, Amilyn is doing a terrific job,” Rey answers a little too enthusiastically.

Rey just readily agrees with him that Luke has everything he needs because she doesn’t want him to visit. “Of course.” Kylo can only concur. “Amilyn was chosen because she was my nurse before and she’s mom’s friend too.”

“That explains it.”

“Tell uncle, you were unsuccessful in convincing me to come.”

Rey laughs. “I’m totally useless to Luke. Maybe you should come so I don’t disappoint him.”

Her laughter sounds fake. “Is there something wrong, Rey?”

“Why do you say that?”

“You sounded—”

Rey cuts him short. “There’s nothing wrong.”

“Do you want me to come to the cottage?” Kylo asks with an abated breath.

“No,” Rey answers simply.

“ _I see.”_

“I highly doubt that.”

“Goodbye, Rey.”

“Goo—”

Kylo brings the phone down cutting off Rey’s farewell. His hands are shaking. He doesn’t have permission to see her. And he has to respect her wishes. He has to.

—oOo—

 

~4 18 18 AF P 4 24 18~

 

 

 


	16. The Yellow Brick Road

Sometimes, Kylo wants Rey to leave...if only to kill whatever hope he has left. And then he realizes that’s what he’s trying to achieve as he keeps pushing her away. But no matter how much he does that she’s still clinging on to Luke. Maybe Rey does love Luke.

Such thoughts whirls in his head. Sometimes, he can’t deny them, other times, he thinks it’s absurd. Most times, he just wants to kick himself. But no matter what thoughts he entertains for the day and night, he is in constant chest ache, stomach ache and mind ache. He’s suffering because of her.

Rey has to leave. It’s the only way he can stop himself from reaching for the phone.

Kylo lifts the handset, dials three numbers in, then he puts it back down on the cradle.

_God damn it, he knows something is wrong!_ Kylo can hear it in her voice, in her fake laughter. She says she’s totally useless to Luke and then she uses the word _disappointment_ in the same breath. When he asks if there’s something wrong she has the audacity to deny it. _Why?_

_Maybe..._ _Maybe_ _she’s pregnant that’s why she doesn’t want him to come home to the cottage?_

Kylo closes his eyes and shakes his head. He’s grasping at straws. No, Rey isn’t pregnant. If she is, she would have left the cottage already.

Kylo lifts the handset, and even gets to finish dialing. The phone rings but as he waits for someone to answer he mumbles, “Don’t answer, don’t answer, don’t answer.”

Rey answers, “Hello.”

“Are you pregnant?” Kylo asks.

“ _No! Of course not.”_

“You will tell me if you are?”

“I—”

“I’m not asking for an explanation. Just a yes or no.”

“Yes. Yes, I would.”

“Thank you,” Kylo utters then he puts the phone down. How much his life can change if Rey wasn’t taking birth control pills. It will never happen but he still allows himself to imagine it. A mini Rey running around in the cottage. Maybe even a mini him, dark curls and all, sulking, competing with him for Rey’s attention.

The phone rings. Kylo lifts the handset with a small smile still curving his lips. “Yes?”

“ _You just_ _ca_ _n’t call and asks me if I’m pregnant then just...just..._ _thank me ‘cause I’m not._ _You’re an asshole! I hate you! Do you hear! And that’s it! I’m leaving!_ _And don’t you dare say, that’s good!_ _”_

This time it’s Rey’s turn to hang up the phone without waiting for him to reply.

—oOo—

No. Kylo doesn’t want Rey to leave.

Hearing her voice makes his situation bearable...If he doesn’t have even that, he doesn’t know.

He often convinces himself that he wants her gone but...he doesn’t really think beyond that, hasn’t really contemplated what happens next after she’s gone. And now, he does. Just worrying about her alone somewhere will kill him.

What if she meets more assholes like him...

He has to see Rey. In the end, he knows he can’t comply with her wishes. He can’t stay away.

Kylo just jumps into his car during work and drives it for a record of two and half hours. But as he nears his uncle’s cottage, he slows down. Maybe Rey is already gone…Maybe he’s too late.

But Rey will not just leave like what he did. She will say a proper goodbye to Luke and to all her friends in the area including Andy. She also has two jobs she can’t just resign from at the drop of a hat.

No. Rey’s still in the cottage. She still has to make up a reason that Luke can accept for her leaving.

He’s not too late...yet.

Nobody knows he’s coming. Kylo takes a U turn.

In town, Kylo rents a room and parks his car. The room is small but it’s the first one he sees and he doesn’t have to waste time when there’s a huge possibility he won’t be sleeping in it anyway. No, he doesn’t imagine he’ll be staying in the cottage, he’ll probably go back to Canto Bight tonight. If he does, the next time he returns to Ahchto, Rey will already be long gone.

If he can delay the inevitable, he will.

Kylo leaves his car. It will be harder to throw him out of the cottage if he doesn’t bring his own transport because it’ll be night soon. Maybe Rey will even drive him back to town.

Maybe they can talk then.

From town, Kylo walks towards his uncle’s cottage. There are times he does so briskly, sometimes he even runs then his thoughts will overtake him then he walks slowly, dreading what Rey’s reaction will be.

He checks the garage first. Breathing a sigh of relief when he sees Rey’s car.

Luke’s car is noticeably absent. Kylo then remembers that his uncle is visiting the hospital for his cardiac rehab program and Ami always accompanies him. They’ll be late getting back.

Kylo inwardly debates whether he should ring the bell or use the extra key hidden under one of the plant pots.

Unsure of his welcome, he decides on the latter.

Opening the door and walking the floor like a thief, he wonders what is he doing. He wants to see her before she sees him. Before she lets her guards up and shots him dead with her tongue or whatever weapon she finds handy.

Just for a split second, Kylo hopes to see her smiling as she paints or as she does stuffs. Such a sight will make his trip worth it even if the result won’t be to his liking.

_Oh God he misses her._

To want what you can never have…

He has tried fighting the want but he is just failing miserably. And now, much worst, it’s a need.

_Where is she?_

Kylo doesn’t have to wonder long. He hears her faint voice coming from the living room.

Kylo tries to move as silently as he can. Rey’ll probably add creep to the names she calls him.

But in the mean time, Rey hasn’t even noticed him as she talks to someone on the telephone. “Finn, yes, he’s a lot older than me. _Don’t call him ancient! He’s not!”_

Rey isn’t smiling. She looks frustrated as hell. And her eyes are red-rimmed and seem to be focused on the wall. Kylo glances at the wall. It has a picture of Luke that includes him too but he looks so young in it. Sixteen to be exact. It’s probably Luke who is just forty in the snapshot and beardless that Rey is staring at.

_Ancient?_ That’s a way describe his uncle. Of course, Rey and whoever Finn is, they are talking about Luke. Kylo should clear his throat, make some noise, leave, but he is rooted on the spot, standing just by the door with Rey’s profile presented to him. Only her side of the conversation he can hear.

“If you’re going to be like that, I’ll regret telling you. I should have kept it my secret until I die.” Rey sounds upset. “ _No, no!_ He did not take advantage!”

“No, I’m not throwing this opportunity to train with Luke away,” Rey continues to explain on the telephone. “You know me better than that! But please just ask your friend Poe if he can still take me on. I know it’s a lot to ask but I’m desperate. I don’t want Luke to worry about me but if I can say to him that Poe is willing to take me on as his student, it’ll ease his mind and he won’t argue about me leaving.”

“Of course, I can’t tell Luke the truth! It’ll give him another heart attack.”

Rey continues to shake her head as if the person on the other side of the line can see her. “He doesn’t see me in the same way.He doesn’t even have any idea, how much he can hurt me. I can’t stay here still in contact with him.”

Rey then glares at the picture on the wall. “ _I love him!_ _But I’ll never tell him that._ _”_

Kylo has heard enough. He has almost convinced himself that Rey doesn’t feel that way for Luke but...he finally hears it, Rey admitting she loves Luke. There’s no more room for doubts.

The pain of certainty, it hurts more than being just suspiciousabout it. Shoulders heaving, Kylo shouts, _“_ _Why the hell it can’t be me!”_ He’s so mad, he enters the room, goes round the sofa Rey’s sitting on and finally confronts her.

“What are you doing here?” Rey asks, surprised, before she says to the mouthpiece. “I’ll talk to you later, love.”

“ _Love?_ You love Finn too?”

“I—”

“You love this Finn. You love my uncle. You probably even love that boy Andy that delivered your car. _Who else?_ The guy who—is always _nice to you_ , the guy who orders coffee from you and tips you generously at the diner. _You love_ _all of_ _them but you hate me!”_ outburst Kylo, his eyes glittering wildly.

“I don’t understa—”

“ _No, you don’t!_ And if you do understand how I feel, it— _it_ _wil_ _l_ disgust you!” Kylo just continues to shout. _“So you better go! You better leave!”_

Tears suddenly spring from Rey’s eyes. “You want me to go?”

“Yes.” Kylo watches as the tears run down Rey’s face unchecked. His fists clench and he bites his lower lip as his eyes continue to trace the tears making a path down her face, her tiny shoulders shaking. The anger leaving him, deflated like a balloon, he implores, “I—no, please stay.”

“I don’t need your pity,” snaps Rey through her tears. “You can’t just change your mind—”

“I know you hate me. There’s no way you can love me. But don’t go...Stay. Just stay here where I can find you. Please,” pleads Kylo, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

“ _Why are you doing this?”_

“ _I can give you the world,_ _the galaxy even,_ _if_ _you stay..._ _i_ _f you stay by my side.”_ Kylo continues, his tone coaxing and his hands open in a beseeching manner. “You can even love my uncle. Maybe it’s the gratitude. It doesn’t matter, you’re right anyway. He doesn’t see you the same way, and that should be enough for me."

Rey realizes Kylo has heard her and Finn’s conversation but as usual he’s wrong, and it’s his fault for continuing to think that she has romantic feelings for Luke. “Actually, I’m wrong. I think _he_ can see me that way,” remarks Rey, raising her hands to rub her face of what remains of her tears. She has stopped crying but her eyes remain over bright.

Kylo slashes the air with his hand to drive in his point. _“_ _No! Never!_ Luke will always view you as a kid.”

Rey cringes. She’s almost twenty. “But you don’t.”

“I don’t.”

“Then you’re wrong. He doesn’t view me as a kid. This older—much older man that I love...” Rey hesitates, swallowing nervously. “I think he feels something for me too.”

“I—” Kylo frowns. He’s getting lost in this conversation.

“I hope he does because I don’t want to look foolish when I say this,” Rey tries a smile and takes a deep breath before she admits, “I love you, Ben.”

“ _O_ _h.”_ Kylo— _Ben_ _s_ tares at her, couldn’t quite believe her. “But you said you hate me. You said it a lot of times.”

“Didn’t you hear what I just said? I tell you something, you choose to ignore it. You refuse to listen preferring to latch on an argument that will discredit what I say in your eyes. Well, Ben Skywalker Solo, I love you. Not your uncle, and definitely not the diner customer who tips well. _Y_ _ou!_ Now do you feel the same or not?”

Ben watches Rey, seeing her smile threatening to break out, seeing her eyes shining with anticipation, happiness and dare he believe it...Love? Yes, she’s not lying. He has gotten to know her, he can trust her. He trust her. “Not,” he replies.

“ _Oh my god._ I thought...” Rey feels her heart crack...and the shame that comes with it. She starts to hyperventilate. _“Oh my god._ _Oh my god._ _”_

“I have no romantic feelings for myself. But I do have for you.” Ben smiles. He can tease her, he can adore her, he can tell her, “I love you so damn much, Rey.”

Rey bursts into tears as she clenches her fist. _“_ _Oh God, Ben! I hate you!”_

“I hate myself too. You have no idea how much I’ve come to hate myself.” Ben comes closer, raising his hands to grasp and bracket Rey’s face, he wipes her tears gently away with the pads of his thumbs. “I’m so sorry I said a lot of things that I should not have.”

“Yes, you said a lot of awful things.” Rey raises her hand and pummels her fist at Ben’s chest. “How can you believe those things about me? Just like the people in town. How can you continue to think like them?”

Ben allows Rey her pound of flesh. Two or three of the punches actually hurt. “I know I was behaving badly. I was really nasty. I lashed out to hurt you because I was hurting. You seemed to be more important to uncle than I ever was. I’m not going to get to know you—”

Rey’s fist opens to clutch the material of Ben’s shirt as she looks up at him. “That’s nonsense. Luke loves you.”

“I know.” Ben kisses Rey’s forehead then with his hands still bracketing her face, he stares into her eyes but his guilt makes him unable to meet those eyes for long so he kisses her eyes closed. “I’m sorry too about turning our first night together into something sullied because I can’t believe you want me. How can you want me?”

“How can you not believe me? I acted like a slut for you.”

“ _Shh._ You’re not a slut. You were a virgin. And we agreed, I’m an asshole.”

“Yes. You’re an asshole. You left without saying goodbye.”

“I said goodbye at the diner.”

“That wasn’t a proper goodbye. And you know it.”

Ben touches Rey’s cheeks, trailing the path her tears have taken moments ago. He then kisses her cheek. “I’m sorry I left without saying a proper goodbye. I was trying to escape from you... _b_ _ut_ I wasn’t able to. You had me trapped.”

“Is that how you feel now? _Trapped?”_

Ben laughs. “I feel free. Free to hold you like this and never let go.”

“You almost let me go,” Rey says accusingly.

Ben kisses her nose. “I’m sorry I almost send you away. I thought it was the only way to make the pain you’re causing me to go away.”

“Is that why on the phone, you act like it’s unbearable to talk to me?”

“It was unbearable.” Ben kisses Rey’s lips. “Hearing your voice and knowing that was all I could have of you. It was like being punished and rewarded at the same time. I was— _I am_ really sorry for all the things I did.”

“When you just left, you made me feel like I was...nothing to you.”

“That day I left, I left because I couldn’t believe the things I accused you of anymore.” Ben’s arms drop to wrap around Rey’s waist and embraces her tightly. “I left because...you’ve become my everything.”

“Did Luke said something that changed your mind about me?”

“No. After our last fight, that night, I just know that I was wrong about you. I finally faced the fact that uncle and you weren’t in a relationship but still I thought, you really love him. I saw all the things you did for him at the hospital. Even when I know nothing is going on between you two I was still eaten by envy and I couldn’t just shake it off...I couldn’t because I don’t think I deserve you. If even for a moment I thought I did, I swear I would have stayed.”

“When you did all those things, said all those things, it hurt me but...it hurt you too.”

“Yes.”

Rey lays her head on Ben’s chest, her arms going around his waist. “You’re really sorry. I have to be blind not to see that.”

“Yes”

“You’re on probation then,” utters Rey, “I don’t forgive easily. You have to earn it.”

“I’ll start serving it then?”

“Yes, please.”

Ben carries Rey in a bridal carry, about to walk towards her room when he remembers that it is now nurse Holdo’s. _“The studio?”_

“Yes, the studio,” replies Rey, her arms going around Ben’s neck. “You have a lot to make up for.”

—oOo—

 

~2 2018 AF P 5 4 18~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Only one color remains and that’s…
> 
> And Happy Star Wars Day!


	17. Orange Blossom

“ _WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!”_ demands Luke as soon as he opens the door to the studio.

Too late, Rey scrambles to hide behind Ben.

Ben moves forward to allow Rey to hide behind him. “ _Isn’t it obvious?_ Now, can you leave so we can get dressed?”

“ _You can’t seduce my own student in my own home, Ben!”_

“This is what happens when you will _my inheritance_ to your student.”

“I willed it back to you! Since you said you wanted it!” admits Luke. “You don’t have to go this far.”

Rey hiding behind Ben’s back, takes a peek at Luke. _“_ _Inheritance?”_

But it is Ben who answers, “The cottage and everything in it. Luke wanted you to have it.”

“Oh,” Rey says, trying her best to stay hidden. _“Oh.”_ she says again when the meaning of Ben’s words becomes clearer. She utters softly in a voice only Ben can hear, “You didn’t come back to...”

Kylo swivels his head around to glower at Rey. “Don’t you dare think like that or I’ll burn this cottage down just to prove a point.”

Rey grins, showing she believes the man who claims he came back for her. “Asks Ben to choose between the house or me,” says Rey as she glances back at Luke, her eyes dancing with mischief.

“ _Shh_ _h._ Don’t give Luke ideas.” Ben turns his head to glance again at Rey, his index finger on his lips. Rey’s grin widens. Ben’s gaze drops on Rey’s lips, an answering smile forming on his own lips before he faces his uncle. “If it comes to that, uncle, I choose the house. You can have your student back.”

Rey punches Ben on his arm.

Luke glares at Ben.

“You better teach Rey a lot of things, uncle. You don’t want a future Skywalker-Solo to be labeled riding the coattails of _your_ Skywalker name.”

“Oh but I’m going to go by Ren. Rey Ren. RR for short,” utters Rey.

“ _Rey Ren?_ Oh god no, it sounds awful. Rey Solo is better,” replies Ben.

Luke rolls his eyes. “I’ll see you Rey outside in the yard when you’re fully clothed. Bring your art supplies. Ben, you can stay until after dinner then you can leave.”

“I don’t have my car. Rey will have to drive me back to town.”

Luke frowns. “I can’t teach her anything if you don’t let her go back here _tonight,_ not tomorrow.”

“Uncle Luke,” argues Ben, “the streets are dangerous at night. You’ll have her tomorrow.”

Nurse Amilyn Holdo who is searching for Luke, finally notices the commotion in the studio. She takes a peek inside the room. Although Ben has a pillow on his lap and Rey is safely hidden behind his bigger frame, it’s still obvious that the two are naked on the couch. “Ben Skywalker Solo, I’m going to tell this to your mother!”

Rey groans. “This is turning to a nightmare.”

Kylo puts out a hand on his back to tap Rey. _“Shh._ This negotiation is important. The peace of the galaxy rests on this.”

Rey snorts at Ben then she looks at their audience. “Luke, Amilyn, I’m sorry you have to find out about Ben and me this way.” She draws a steadying breath before she continues, head held high, “Luke, I’ll stay with him tonight. Tomorrow he leaves. He can then visit during weekends, and holidays.”

“Or when I really, really miss her,” adds Ben.

“Okay, I won’t tell your mom. You tell your mom, Ben.” Holdo grasps Luke’s arm. “Come on, Luke. We shouldn’t be interrupting them.”

“ _Thanks Holdo, you’re a hero,”_ Kylo calls out.

—oOo—

_Years Later_

The art world is in a titter. Kylo Ren's latest collection is bursting with colors. It marks a change. A big, huge change. It makes his previous works apprised more.

The exhibition also marks Luke Skywalker’s first re-appearance in more than a decade. And with Luke are his sister, Leia, his brother-in-law, Han, and Rey, his nephew’s wife of three months.

The art crowd finally recognizes Rey, the new artist whose first exhibition a year ago was a rave. But the same crowd still doesn’t know that Ben Skywalker-Solo, heir to the Skywalker-Solo empire is also Kylo Ren, the world famous painter.

Kylo Ren still wears his mask and remains aloof in his own exhibitions.

The media covering the event are still glad they have attended the event because of Luke Skywalker. Rumors are flying that Rey is his protege. Critics are saying she's the future Skywalker. And Rey just laughs. Her response is that already _at present_ , she’s a Skywalker...Solo.

For the past five years, Ben has remained to be Rey’s meanest critic and the one who made sure she eats. So when the reviews came out a year ago Rey knows she deserves the accolade because she has worked hard and not solely because she trained under Luke.

Now, at present, Kylo Ren wears his mask and stands alone near one of his paintings, the one he calls _‘After the Rain’_. It was drawn with all the colors of the rainbow. The red, violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow and orange colors fought for dominance on the canvas that it should be chaotic but the balance is there. It’s really a pretty. It’s Rey’s favorite. And Kylo Ren knows it.

Rey finally approaches Kylo Ren. “That painting better be back on that hook in our bedroom soon.”

Kylo smirks unseen. “If someone bids for a million, I’m selling it.”

Rey appears to consider. “Okay, I’ll buy it for a million...kisses.”

Kylo removes his mask. “Sold. You can start paying me now.”

Rey smiles and stands on a tiptoe, her hands lifting up to rest on Kylo’s shoulders. Her lips meets his for a bold kiss.

The people finally notice, they take out their phones and take picture. The man behind the mask is finally revealed. The art world is in a quite a state.

—oOo—

 

 

~4 27 18 AF P 5 21 18~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done with the remaining color! Hope you guys notice the rainbow after the rain :D
> 
> Thanks to all the people who read this and made their presence known! You guys are the fuel!


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